Weights and Gains

April 13, 2021


She was a natural leader, an alpha
People gravitate towards her naturally
She has a heart of gold, a very loving
and caring disposition
She has a stellar career in Human
Resources, an innate understanding
of human nature and character
She was a psychiatrist by training,
the best
She was a happy person, a woman
whose delight is in lifting burdens
off many shoulders
On the surface, she has life figured
She got married at 27
She married a marine biologist who
worked with a research institute
conducting research works around
the shores of an island in South
Her husband took a leave of absence
from his job the very first year after
they got married
The plan was to start a family immediately
Due to the nature of her husband’s job,
they would only see for two to three
months in a year once he resumed
She felt she would
need the pregnancy and baby to keep
her company whenever her husband
was not at home
They really worked hard for that one
year, but she didn’t get pregnant
Towards the end of the year, they
started using certain drugs to help
them with conception but nothing
She was very disappointed
Her husband went back to work,
promising her that he would find
another job that does not require
him being locked on a ship or look
for another way to get off the ship
to spend some time with her
She understood their situation, the
job was not only her husband’s
passion, it was also a well-paying job
She told herself she was still a bit
young and they had time
She had her job, career, family and
friends to keep her happy
Two weeks after her husband left,
he sent her a message that his uncle
who lived on the beach of an island in
Lagos was owing him some money and had
indicated that he was ready to pay
She was to go to the Uncle’s house
the following Tuesday morning to
collect the money for him
She had some work issues to deal
with that day, so she called the uncle
and asked if she could come around
the following Saturday
The uncle said okay
On Saturday morning she set out
for the uncle’s house by 9am
It was located in an area of Lagos
she had never been to before
The uncle welcomed her warmly
The uncle had been abroad for many
years and his ex-wife and children
still lived abroad.
He returned to Nigeria to enjoy the
money he made while he was married
which he kept in an offshore account
that the ex-wife had no knowledge of
He said his ex-wife took everything
from him, including the children and
he was advised by his lawyers to leave
the USA if he doesn’t want
To be prosecuted again once his
ex-wife found out he had some assets
he didn’t declare as at the time of the
So he left the USA with his stash of
over five million dollars and started
a new life all alone
He lived in a mansion and everything
about him stinks of money!
The uncle told her what she planned
to do while her husband was away
She said she would have loved to
return to school for her masters in
the UK but for lack of funding
(She didn’t know why she said that.
She had never even had that in mind
in his life.
Perhaps she was trying to gain his
approval or impress him) He had a
very intimidating personality.
She had planned to spend at most
thirty minutes with him when she left
home but she had nothing better to do
and the uncle was wonderful company
Around 2pm they went on a boat ride
together (He had a dock
On his property and many boats
It was a thrilling experience, something
she had only seen in movies
They were still on the lagoon by 6 pm
Talking and flirting harmlessly
Then his uncle kissed her
(It was not unexpected, she had just
been thinking in her head how a kiss
would have felt in that boat
The experience of waves of pleasure
within waves of pleasure)
She kissed him back
Right there on the boat, they had sex
When they were done, she started to
cry, his uncle didn’t see it as funny in
anyway and somehow convinced her
she was being manipulative.
They had sex again and she ended up
sharing his bed all night
She had planned to leave very early
the next morning
She had switched off her phone from
the moment his uncle convinced her
to go on a boat cruise with him
She didn’t want her husband to call
and things to get awkward
She didn’t dare switch it at all throughout
the night
What would she have said to her husband
or any of their relatives and friends who
might call
She had fallen off the radar and it was
safer to remain dark until she returned to
her life
She woke up late and one thing led to the
Other again
She eventually left his uncle’s house with
the money her husband’s uncle was owing
to her husband
When she got home, she switched on her
phone and the messages rushed in
She told her husband she was experiencing
cramps and took some drugs which knocked
her off for two days
Her husband said he called some people
who came home to check her and they didn’t
meet her or see her car in the compound
She said she left her car at the office the
previous day because of the symptoms she
was feeling
Her husband let the matter rest
Two weeks later she
discovered she was pregnant
It was an uppercut?
What was she to do?
Her husband had been gone for a month
and some days
She was happy and sad at the same time
Happy because it was the news she had
been waiting for since she got married
Sad because it came out of a weekend of
She had not been able to look at herself in
the mirror since the incidence
If she had been told that she would ever
do what she did that weekend she would
have cursed or sworn that it was impossible
The event made her see herself for what
she truly was, a cheat and a liar
A human being with a weak knee
An advocate of purity, who married as
a virgin and got lost in a fog at the
first sign of temptation
She didn’t believe she was able to tell
so many lies in a bit to get away with it
Getting out of the pregnancy dilemma
was a bit of a stretch
She thought about it for many days
Eventually, she confided in a friend
The friend told her to tell her husband
the good news
“There are many ladies who didn’t know
they were pregnant until they were two
to three months gone
The timing was close enough for her to
be able to get away with it
It was the easiest way out
Even if her husband asks for a paternity
test, she felt it could fly because she
had been impregnated by his uncle
(He and his uncle really looked alike) but
the more she thought about it, the more
she felt herself sinking into dismay
She would either define the circumstances
surrounding her life or her life would be
defined by the circumstances.
She had treated many marital issues as
a psychiatrist
She had read many issues too
She was already planning to sit her
husband down and tell him the truth when
they meet so that she can wipe the slate
If she went with the easy option, a lot of
days of sorrow would be ahead of her
She reached out to the brother in Jeans
and T-shirt on Twitter
“What do I do?
I am confused
Please help me, Sir”
Her message came in on June 19,
2016 by 2 AM
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
called her and they started trying
to make sense of her situation after
After praying, she told him what she
felt she should do was call her husband
and tell him the truth
It would cause bad blood in the family
and she would be in the middle of a
huge storm
She said she was not mentally prepared
for the shame and the toxicity that
would come crashing upon her head
So the option was how she would
navigate her way out of the mess with
as little damage as possible
They concluded that she should explain
what had happened to her husband
without naming the person involved
She should apologize and move out of
the apartment she got married into
Everybody would be hurt but it would
be honorable that she judge herself
and do what was right for everybody
considering the circumstances
She agreed
She wrote her husband the mail the
next morning
She told him she cheated on him and
couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen
She told him she had moved out of the
house and would consider herself
separated from him for the next one year
and then she will divorce him without
any contest
She told him she was sorry she
wasted two years of his life
She said she wished things had turned
out better
She left
Her husband tried calling her several
She didn’t pick until three months later
She said she had been reading his
messages and she knew he was badly
hurt by her action
He said he wanted to see her
She told him she was pregnant
He said, “You have remarried already?”
She said “No”
He kept quiet
He understood what had happened
and let it be
She delivered the baby in 2017
She began to wait on the Lord for
direction and restoration
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt told her
that the word says “God places the
solitary in families”
She was convinced God will
settle her in her own home at the right
in December 2019, she took her
two-year-old to Ikeja City Mall during
the Christmas season
Right by the escalator, she saw him
Her ex-husband, dressed in army
camouflage shorts and sneakers
He saw her at the same time too
Then he saw her son and his eyes
They really looked alike, even she sees
the resemblance everyday
She greeted him
He immediately got on the escalator
with her and her son
He said “We need to talk”
She nodded
They got tickets to watch a movie
They sat at the back
They talked while her
son ate popcorn and drank Pepsi
She told him the truth
She told him the boy belongs to his
She apologized again
He said he would like to see her again
She gave him her address
He was at her house first thing the next
He said “I want to marry you again”
He had his reasons
She listened to them and she was
convinced it was a good match
She reached out to the Brother in
Jeans and T-shirt to share the testimony
The Brother In Jeans and T-shirt met
with them
They discussed at length
He had an issue with his sperm cell
It was discovered while he
was in Argentina
He had been worried about their
inability to conceive while they were
married and did a thorough test when
he got back to his base
He was willing to adopt her son and
build a family with her
She agreed and they got married the
second time

PS: I got the news that she was three
weeks pregnant this morning.
(God has done it) Hallelujah.
She had begged me not to write about
his sperm whatever issue, so I didn’t
want to but her husband called as I
was writing that I should share
everything to encourage someone out
Please always do what is right
it is never too late to take the
right steps and walk away from the
wrong path.
By doing the right thing, she was able
to live a life free of guilt, tension and
Many would take the easy way out
and they will add many sorrows to
their sorrow at the end of the day
Glory be to God alone

There will be Hangout with Brother
iand PSSBC ministers on Friday
and Saturday April 16, 17, 2021 at
ECWA Guest House, Mabera
Kantin Sani, Sokoto.
Time is 4.00 PM (WAT) each day.


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