Ilumination

Wait, Don’t Stone Me Yet

January 21, 2024

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Some truths need to be said

The problem usually is who will bell the cat

Who has the clout or the heart to tell the truth to someone who might be hurt by it but to whom the truth will be invaluable and useful?

Who will tell a lady she cannot compare herself to her friends or her nature to that of her friends?

Who will tell a man or woman that because of the peculiarity of his or her circumstances, he should not try to arrive at the same results as his mates using the same means?

My father wanted me to be a doctor

I didn’t have the brains for Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry

He insisted all I had to do was apply myself and I would be the best in those subjects as I have always been

He changed my school, made me repeat SS1, and I found myself in Science class

I had all the textbooks and very good teachers

I still didn’t understand what chemistry, physics, and mathematics were all about

I was always failing those subjects

When I got to SS3, I had saved enough money to buy a GCE form

I filled in Government, Christian Religious Studies, Literature, and other art subjects

I borrowed textbooks from my friends and classmates

I sat for the examination and passed excellently

When I got the result I sent it to my Father

Then the WAEC result came out and I failed Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics as usual

He understood what I had done and he let me be

You cannot force someone to become what they are not equipped to be

I have a sister who had a boyfriend

This brother is a very good cook, a good driver, and has a very caring nature

He was married to a lady long before he met this sister but this lady was unhappy that her husband was good at doing feminine stuff

How can a man be in the kitchen all day? When his friends were making millions out there?

She gave him so much grief but he couldn’t change who he was

Eventually, she left him and was given custody of their only child

He left Kaduna and relocated to Lagos

Two years later she met this sister who employed him as her personal Uber driver

He takes her to work and brings her back home every day

This sister is a very good nurse

Her work was in shifts and she couldn’t play the domestic wife role for any man

While working she was also studying to improve herself

She and her Uber driver got talking and one thing led to the other

She liked him and he liked her too but he was not saying anything regarding a relationship or marrying her

He told her he had discovered that most women want a man who is out there making money but his strength was in the kitchen

He hated driving Uber

It was because he left Kaduna that he resorted to that to make ends meet

He loves cooking, while he was in Kaduna he took on massive catering jobs and executed the jobs excellently well

He did it for fun and didn’t think of commercializing it

His church members then ran to him for help whenever there was an occasion involving cooking and he helped them out

He knew his strength but he was not going to get married to a woman who would insist that he should start doing something else that would soothe her image or agenda

He had told himself the truth

This is who I am and whoever will be with me must accept me for my strength and not try to change me into someone else

This sister had listened to him talk over and over about the way he was and how he was perceived as not being man enough by his ex-wife

She wanted to be with him and waited for months for him to ask her out

He didn’t

She started processing her relocation to the UK as a nurse

When she got her visa, she called him and said “We started as client and customer but we have become friends and I believe I have come to love you and would like to keep this relationship forever

However, I am relocating to the UK and forever may become never unless you come and marry me.

He got the message while driving another client to the airport

He dropped the client and called his family members

He married her a month later

They are both in the United Kingdom now

He cooks, she manages his cooking business and they are doing quite well

I named their miracle baby last year and their marriage is a very good one

I have seen marriages that failed, not because either of the parties was evil but because of unreasonable expectations or principles

A wife buys a house and her husband says he cannot live in a house owned by a woman

They were paying 5000 dollars a year to rent the basement apartment they were living in in the Bronx

She got a job in Texas and bought a house that the mortgage cost her 10,000 dollars a year

Pragmatically, she had made the right decision

Sentimentally, he made the decision that led to serious issues for him within six months

Without her income, he couldn’t pay rent

He got served divorce papers a few months later

He refused to sign and yet he didn’t see the need to make amends by going back to his family

Sentiments aside, his wife made the right decision

They had been in New York for years and they were practically living from hands to mouth

He didn’t want to leave because all his friends were in New York and he had a social life there

One must learn to make practical decisions

The same goes for relationships and picking a spouse

Many of us assume that “eros” is everything when it comes to marriage

This is so untrue

There are ugly people

There are damaged people

There are hurting people

There are abused people

There are unlucky people

Then there are normal people

We all cannot be the same and therefore we should not insist on everybody walking on the same path

It is preposterous in my opinion and I am not wrong

A woman gave birth to two girls

One is beautiful and was attracting boys and men from her teen years

The other is ugly and couldn’t attract even female friends

The ugly one was the older one

The beautiful one was the younger one

A serious suitor came for the younger one

Their mother got worried that if the younger one got married the older one would be left on the shelf

Their mother called their father and lamented about this

Their father called the older sister and told her the practical truth

You are ugly

You have shifty eyes and nobody will marry you based on your looks

You can cook and you will make a good mother but men are not attracted by those qualities on the surface

Men love beauty and you lack it

You will not have a marriage based on love and affection

You may want those things but they will never come

But you are a woman and a man will find you soft and luscious when he sleeps with you

You may not be much to look at in public but in the bedroom, when the blinds are down and the light is out, you will finish any man when you are naked

So get into the room on your sister’s wedding night and wait

Then the father went to the beautiful sister and told her to please forget about this suitor as others would come for her and her sister needed all the help she could get to become a mother, and then maybe a wife

The beautiful sister agreed

On the wedding day, the father piled the groom with a lot of wine until he was very drunk

He then put him in the room with the ugly sister

As predicted, ugliness is in the face

The naked body of any full-grown woman is enough to make any man weak at the knees

The husband slept with this ugly lady several times

She didn’t make an issue of it

She made the sex memorable because that was how she could make him come back to her bed the next day

When it was morning, Jacob saw that he had slept with Leah and not Rachel

He protested

Laban explained to him the peculiarity of his circumstances as a father

“I am sorry but I did that because I wanted both my daughters to be happy”

Jacob understood

Jacob never loved Leah throughout his life but he kept going back to her bed and slept with her much more than he slept with Rachel after he eventually married Rachel

Laban was a very pragmatic man

Many parents have forgotten how to be pragmatic in today’s world

If a child cannot help himself or herself, it is the duty of the elders at the city gate or the parents to help the child sort out the issues he or she is facing in life

It was at the city gate that the issue of Ruth was sorted out

I am not asking that parents force their children into marriages or relationships when they do not want one

I have a daughter, she is beautiful

I will do everything to prepare her for a great future and I will stand by her decision as she grows older regarding relationships, marriage, and so on

If she wants to be single, I will never bug her about marriage

but if she wants to be married, nothing will stop her from getting married when she desires to

If she is not beautiful, I will never worry about her getting a husband or having children

I will prepare her for a life of independence and I will tame that tendency to seek validation and love from men

I will tell her not to worry about a thing

I will marry for her a husband or a man, he will produce children through her

I will put a stupendous amount in a trust fund for her and this man for as long as they are together

I will also ensure that the two of them have something useful that they are good at and can do to make their lives meaningful

I will not ask a bad product to go into the market and sell itself

I will not pray and fast and rend the heavens on the issue

I will package a bad product and encourage customers to buy it with a lot of incentives

I will temper my expectations and hope for the best

I know this is not a Romeo and Juliet circumstances

The man may even be cheating on her for his pleasure

I will prepare her mind for this and I will protect her from any physical harm or danger

She will have to learn to be grateful for how I have helped her shape her life and destiny

I will do the same thing for a son of mine who finds himself in a situation in which he can’t attract a wife or marry one by himself

As long as he is not impotent, I will do whatever will make his life fruitful and happy

I will also not do this selfishly in such a manner that the woman coming into his life or bearing his children will not be uncompensated as he or she ought to be

Some relationships are natural, and some are transactional

Some are whatever you make of them

I know this truth to be self-evident.

If a man/woman loves your son/daughter but he does not have a job, please get him/her a job

Don’t rob your son or daughter of joy based on a problem you can solve or some sentimental issues that do not matter in the long run

Do everything to protect your daughter or son’s joy and happiness in this life

Prepare your son or daughter for the life ahead

Your goal is to make everybody happy

Please do this!

What I have written here will make some people very angry, to those, I am saying “sorry”

I have written nothing new that is not being practised all over the world

I just find the hypocrisy in the so-called “Christian” world unnecessary in this regard

So many churches are filled with people looking for life partners

Most of them are unfit to be married or have gone through serious traumatic issues that have altered them somehow and instead of being pragmatic and making the right choices, everybody is waiting for Prince Charming or Princess Beauty

I watched the movie “Pretty Woman” recently and I laughed at the part where she said she wanted all or nothing!

In real life, she would take what the man offered with thanksgiving and serious celebrations

Nobody is telling them the truth about how to find fulfillment regarding those issues by being pragmatic

Everybody wants to be on the poster as the 56-year-old virgin who got married at last with the caption “It is never too late”

Being single is a beautiful thing if this is by choice

Being married is a beautiful thing if this is by choice

Being married and in love is a wonderful thing between a man and a woman

Being fulfilled, however, is the ultimate thing in life

As fingers are not equal, so will people’s life situations not be equal

We must make the best of decisions while pragmatically approaching life in this season

 

PS: I have just delivered the most difficult prophecy for 2024

The article above is it

I have a way of delivering prophesies that many do not see or know until they begin to apply it

I also have things that I write to address one or many situations at once

You must be very discerning to read my thoughts and get the best out of it

I know how poor people think

I also know how rich people think

It is not right for rich people to think like poor people

You are not a commoner

You are royalty

Act like it

 

-GSW–

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