January 20, 2022


Some people simply dont know how
to love, of course, they think they do
and they act as if they do but deep
down, they really don’t
They love themselves too much to really
love or give themselves to another
Whoever they are with is only good
enough as long as they can still get
something out of such a person
Be it friend, relative, lover or wife
What they can get determine the depth
of the friendship and as soon as they
cannot get anything out of the person
again, the relationship is dead
They are more of users and abusers
His father was one of such
His grandmother too (His Father’s mother)
The pattern had been on over and over
again since he was a child
He saw the way his father treated his
mother (A loving, gentle and caring) woman
He walked all over her and eventually
walked out of the marriage when he
met a rich widow who inherited a ton of
money after the demise of her husband
His father moved out of their flat
He moved in with this woman and began
to fleece her until she was broke
Eventually, his father migrated to the
United Kingdom with the woman but
as soon as he got a job and was
established in the UK, he dumped the
woman and latched on to another lady
A German national who was earning
very well as a computer analyst
At first, he thought his father was a
victim of a family curse but as he grew
older, he realized his father was not a
He was having a drive with his father
one day when his father said
“Don’t marry anybody for long unless the
person is as rich as the sea.
Once they run out of money or value,
walk out. If you don’t walk out, you will
get walked out on”
It was not just the words bu the way his
father said it
He told himself he wouldn’t turn out
that way.
His father was quite a handsome man and
he looked soft and caring on the outside.
This was how he disarmed his victims.
He had inherited his father’s good looks
and soft voice, but he was determined to
do better
He was determined to love any woman
he ends up getting married to
It was a solemn vow he made from his heart
and for that reason he kept away from fickle
relationships and flings until he was ready
He got married in 2011, on a rainy Saturday
His wife came from a broken home, like him,
and they both swore to be true to each other
Three months after they got married, his
wife got a visa and fully funded scholarship
She had been pursuing the opportunity
before they met and they both knew if she
got it, she would be going to the UK to study
He applied for a visa to the UK too
(Money was not an issue)
He had his biometrics and waited patiently
for his visa to be approved
His wife left in October that same year, one
month after she got the visa
The plan was for him to visit as often as
possible with his six months visa until he
got a two-year visa and so on
She left on a Wednesday
Eighteen days after his wife left, he got a
mail from a foreign account
He opened it and he saw a video of his
wife and a man having sex
It was sent to him by the man’s wife
The woman was fighting for her home
and his wife was designated the
The video ruined his day
Later that day, his wife called at about
11pm just to check on him
He had noticed a change in her attitude
after the first week of her departure
but he felt she was going through
registration and other stuff in school
He had no idea she could jump into
bed with another man so quickly
He picked her call and she started
asking him how his day was and all
He was determined not to tell her but
the hypocrisy was galling
At a point, he couldn’t take it anymore
and he screamed at her to shut up
He told her everything
She began to stammer
She said she couldn’t explain what
happened or how it happened
One minute she met this Nigerian professor
who walked up to her and introduced himself
The next she was in his office and his
touch just melted her to the bone
She started to cry and to
Their marriage was not even six months
old yet, all he could do was cry
She began to talk about getting help,
therapy, temptation, the devil, begging
him to stop crying and let it go.
She even said she used protection except
for that first time when scattered in the
professor’s office
As if that information was any consolation
He cried for weeks and she called every day
asking that they pray together over the
phone in the morning before setting out
and that they catch up in the evening
every day
He followed the motions but the tears kept
He got another mail, this time from the
embassy, his visa had been approved
He was about to call her and give her the
good news when he saw another mail
His wife and the professor again, with a
date stamp on the video establishing
that the sex happened that day
The note said “I have left him for her, I am
tired of fighting”
He didn’t bother to reply
He didn’t pick her calls that day
He had been waiting for the visa, his bag
was packed, so he bought his ticket and
traveled to the UK two days later
At first, he wanted to confront her but
the UK is not Nigeria
He didnt want to get shot or locked up
He had heard too many sordid tales
He decided to visit his father and other
relatives and pretended all was well at
the home front
Eventually, his wife realized he was in
the UK and came calling
She asked him why he was acting weird
after they had settled the rift
He told her he wanted a divorce
He had played the fool for just long
He didn’t even tell her anything about
the second video
Her attitude and demeanor was all
“Snap out of it, what is the big deal”
and it was irritating especially because
he knew she was still cheating
She tried to persuade him but it was
water off a duck’s back
He returned to Nigeria and closed that
It was then he discovered that being a
divorcee is a stigma of sort
Most ladies avoided getting into anything
serious with him and he was never the
type to just sleep around
He met another lady in 2014, she came
to his office to market her business
She was into building materials
They became friends and started seeing
each other socially after a while
He introduced her to some of his
(He was working with a cement manufacturing
Talks got serious and he began to dream of
getting married again
Then he got to the office one Monday
morning and found everyone whispering
and looking at him somehow
He had no idea what was going on
By noon that day, their MD announced
that they had employed a manager for
their office in Lekki
The staff was his babe
She had stayed with him long enough to
meet someone who could give her a
dream job at his company
She said nothing to him about her plans
or ambition
She called him
She picked and sounded so enthusiastic
about her new job
He congratulated her and didn’t bother
proceeding with the
He remembered the day he introduced
her to the MD during their end of the
year party
He had been used!
His father’s words proved right in an odd
way, Mr. Nice always got dumped
It was like a dagger was plunged deep
into his heart
He gave up on love that day!

PS: He eventually got married in 2017
He didn’t marry for love
He has two children
His wife said she is more or less a stranger
in the marriage
She wanted him to love and be open
with her
He laughs such childishness off
He says he is responsible
She should be satisfied with that

GSW’s Note
We can play the blame game all we want
There is only one fact that was
conspicuously missing from the story
God was missing in it
Human Beings by themselves can only walk
in error
Without God, man is nothing!
While Christian relationships have their
share of challenges
Ungodly relationships are time bombs
They blow up in all sorts of places
A man or woman who has not learned
how to love God shouldn’t pretend to
be capable of loving people
The Love of God will change your reality
if you will come to him
Come to Jesus today, He will make you

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