January 26, 2021


At first, she thought it was love.
The way he became aggressive
and territorial whenever he saw
her with other people
The first thing he did was cut her
off from her friends and family members
Everybody was a threat to him
If he sees a lady with her, he is quick
to assume the lady was pimping her
for some guy or influencing her to
do ungodly things
If he sees a guy with her, he would
insist the guy was definitely interested
in sleeping with her.
She tried everything to keep his mind
at rest and assure him that she was his
but it was never enough
She would rehearse lies to tell him
whenever she sneaks out to see a friend
or a relative
He had CCTV camera installed at home
with which he monitors all her movements
He was a control freak whose could turn
violent at the drop of a hat over a minor
After a year of bearing it, she reported
the situation to her mother
Her mother called her husband to discuss
the issues with him
Her husband insulted her mother until
her mother busted into tears
By this time she was pregnant and had
come to accept that he was a cross she
had to bear
When she was six months pregnant,
he had a burial to attend in
Port Harcourt and insisted she must
come with him because if he
left her in Lagos she would most likely
see her mother
She begged him to let her stay in Lagos
because of her condition
He refused
She traveled and somehow the stress
triggered premature labour
She delivered the baby thirteen
weeks early
The baby didn’t make it
She spent three weeks in the hospital
in Port Harcourt
When she was discharged, he said
“Of what use are you to me?
You cannot even carry a baby to term?”
His words cut her to the quick
The loss of the baby had put her in a
dark place, his words felt like removing
the pin of a grenade
She reacted poorly
locked his shirt and bit him on the
She called him a callous, cold-blooded,
blood-sucking demon
She didn’t believe she was capable of
such a behaviour
The months of oppression and abuse
led to that moment when she erupted
He ran to the raverend father as soon
as they got to Lagos to report her
The reverend Father had always been
aware of his behaviour towards her
and insisted what she did was as a result
of how he had treated her since
they got married
The marriage was strained and in her
opinion over
She just couldn’t stand him anymore
When she told her mother her decision,
her mother told her there was still a
step she had to take for her own
mental health
She started seeing a counselor
The effect made her better daily to the
point where she was able to talk to him
without feeling any revulsion
He saw the change and joined her
They saw the counsellor together
While they were with the counsellor, the
root of his insecurity was dealt with and
he began to let go of the jealousy
It took a year and three months before
they started communicating and
having sexual intercourse again
It felt to her as if she was with a new
man entirely
The CCTV cameras came down and he
treated her with trust and respect
She got pregnant again and delivered a
baby girl
This time, the baby was born into an
atmosphere of love and care
She said the first three years of her
marriage was hell
it was a baptism of fire but it all happened
because her husband came into the
marriage with a wrong mindset of “ladies
are cheats” and “You must control your
With the help of counselling, he came to
see her as a person worthy of his love
and respect and adjusted his perspective

PS: The couple live in Surulere area of
Lagos State
Their marriage is 8 years old
They have two children and their
relationship is getting better every day

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