The Wayward Path

January 30, 2022


I was 19 when I met him at a neighbour’s
birthday party.
She was a single mature aunty and he
was her senior colleague.
She encouraged me to date him when
he kept telling her he liked me.
He was rich, very rich, he treated me
like a princess and took care of all my
financial needs.
My parents were separated at that time,
we lived with my dad while my mum was
back in the east.
I could have made better choices but
I thought I had no other choice than to
become the sugar baby of a sugar daddy.
I was pretty, young and extremely
He took advantage of my innocence and
dangled lots of carrots before me.
I sat back to enjoy the life of luxury that
was suddenly thrust at my feet.
I will never forget the 1st time he took
me shopping!
The way he spent money on clothes left
me floating on the clouds!
The wining and dining in fine restaurants
and hotels were a constant.
He had the fine taste and spared no
We became an item and everyone knew!
His friends
His brother
His colleagues
My siblings
My friends…..and even my parents!
Yes! My parents knew.
My dad was retired, the business he
set up after retirement wasn’t generating
much and so we were left vulnerable.
Living from hand to mouth.
It is a terrible thing for a man not to be
able to take care of his family and
have to turn a blind eye to the indiscretion
of his children.
We all ate from the bankrolling that
came from that relationship, including
my mother who was in the east.
I resented my parents at a stage in my
life for not opening my eyes to other
choices, for not guiding me away
from this path I was walking.
I cannot blame anyone for the choices
I made though.
I could have taken another route but
this was the path I chose and I was
his sugar baby till I was 23.
His wife knew my name, he even once
took me to his house in the village.
I looked for every excuse I could find
to sleep outside my house just to
spend a night or two with him in some
luxury hotel.
I became friends with other girls my
age who were living similar lifestyles.
Sugar babies with sugar daddies!
It became a norm, not a big deal
any longer!
He said he loved me, I believed him
and believed I loved him too.
A few times, he talked about making
me his second wife, but we didn’t
explore that option much.
We just kept the relationship going
with an intensity that got us so
immersed into each other.
He finally helped me get admission into
the University when I turned 22.
I saw it as a reward for my years of
being with him.
We broke up while I was in year one,
the relationship was already dying at
that point.
I struggled to pay my bills through school.
Dating him opened the door to dating
other married men after him.
I decided to quit the lifestyle and starting
hustling in school by selling 2nd hand
night wears and pastries.
Life was tough, I slipped a few times and
dated one or two other married men but
none was a serious as he was.
Long after I left school and got a good job,
the circle repeated itself!
I got involved with another married man.
I was older, more mature but still foolish.
Foolish enough to fall for a married man,
I stayed with him for about 4 years.
He begged me to marry him with the
promise of a house in London.
I turned it down and eventually moved on.
Life is all about choices and sometimes
we take decisions because we feel we
don’t have another option.
There is always another option, a better
option and the better option is never to
settle for being a side chick.

PS: Today I’m married and in my home
and if I had a choice I would apologize
to their wives for being the woman out
there that caused them pain.

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