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The Runner

April 5, 2021

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The moment he walked into my office,
I realized the genesis of his marital
problem.
It was neither him nor his wife
It was due to gross misconception
His wife grew up in a very strict
Christian home
She was one of those girls that Daddy
was determined would walk in the way
of the Lord by hook or crook
The conditioning of her father had
triggered a rebellious streak in her
She had promised herself that as soon
as she could leave the house she
would do so without looking back
She wanted to be free
She wanted to live on her own terms
Her father sent her to
the University
She waited for that knight in shining
armor to come for her
The knight did not show up on time
She had to go back home after she
graduated
As usual her father was already
making another plan for her life
Everybody said it was love but she
didn’t want to be loved
that way
Her father was a narcissist
A master controller and manipulator of
reality in the name of religion
They were allowed to watch only
Christian movies for two hours daily
while growing up
Their mother had no say in the house
Their father was rich and commanded
absolute
Respect from kin and kindred
Unfortunately, her father had only
daughters
Four of them
He acted as if he was a prison warden
and they were the inmates
She and her sisters were out I church
and made to do everything required
by the church in a bid at indoctrinating
them but they hated it
The way their mother was always
shaking and shivering whenever their
father sneezed
The way they were compelled to live
by his whims at all times
She felt it was denigrating
When she finished her NYSC, her father
got her a job at a textile company
That was when she met him
The prince in shinny armor
He was the kind of guy she had always
prayed for
He was easy to manipulate and she was
far above his station in life
She was the daughter of a rich business
tycoon and pastor
He was the son of an ex-police sergeant
They met on Facebook
He invited
Her to his house
She lied to her father that she was
going for a job interview
She went to his house
He knew she was a gem, a high-class
babe and he treated her as such
He did everything she commanded him
to do without raising any eye brow
After meeting him for third time, she
realized the relationship was beginning
to feel like friendship, so she offered
him sex and that sealed his fate
He didn’t believe that she could allow
him in so easily but she didn’t do it for
him
She did it to get back at her father, to
throw her own pebble in Goliath’s face
Often time when she was with him,
her father would call and she would lie
that she was out looking for a job or
meeting with some big shot
He always saw her lies as evidence that
she loved him and wanted to be with him
He knew her father would never allow
her be with him
She knew it too.
He was from a broken home
He was practically raised by his
grandmother
His father would raise hell
She prepared him for it the night she
asked him to marry her
She told him it would be tough but she
would ensure that they ended up
together
He was so grateful for her love
And dedication
She took him home when she turned
twenty-seven
Her father almost collapsed
Where did you meet him?
Her father didn’t know they had been
having sex for months and she was
even pregnant for him
Her father said No
She said yes
She got family members involved
She had her way
As soon as she got married, her
husband wanted to start acting like
a husband
She didn’t like that
She didn’t want that
That was how her father was behaving
since she was a young girl
She began to cheat on him
Not for love
For freedom
She wanted to be free of the tyranny
of men
Her husband found out she was
cheating, it became a big issue
She hadn’t considered the consequences
and how it would look
She just wanted to be with a guy who
will let her be herself and not be
“husband like”
She didn’t want to cook for anybody and
they couldn’t afford a cook!
She was earning way more than him and
she wanted to keep her money so that
she can enjoy her freedom
She saw how her father’s money kept
her mother in line and didn’t want that
for herself
Eventually she ran away with her lover
Her husband didn’t know what he did
wrong…
He wanted to know what was expected
of him in such a situation
The marriage was just three years old and
they have one daughter
His wife had abandoned everything in her
search for freedom
He didn’t see it that way
He saw a cheating wife and an irresponsible
mother
I told him his wife was not a cheat
She married him at 25 and in defiance to
her father for a reason
She wanted to be free of roles and duties
She wanted to live her life on her own terms
We sat down and composed an email to
his wife (She had blocked him on all his
other lines but he could still
reach out to her via mail.
In the mail, we wrote exactly what we
believe would help her understand that
‘her husband got the message
We apologized and promised to let her
be herself
No cooking or Churching
Just come home and be wife
The rest shall be taken care of by wisdom…
Her husband cried while sending the mail
He said he wanted her back
He will forgive without holding back
I promised him the letter will work
(I am not boasting but I am quite good at
writing, you can ask Coker Wemimo how
she got to say Yes after one text message)
The human heart
Is an open book to the Holy Spirit
Jesus knew man and he needed no to be
told anything about man and so do I
through the Holy Spirt.
The mail went out on a Monday, in the
mail my phone number was listed as a
marriage counselor.
She called me on Wednesday morning.
We talked and met.
Three weeks later she was reconciled
to her husband and child.
The marriage is eight years old today
They have three more babies and are
happy together

Marriage is always deeper than boy
meets girl!

The End

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