Tales of the Heart 2

January 14, 2024


She said: I never much fancied the idea of getting married and settling down to having children and running a home

It just wasn’t my scene

I grew up seeing many women broken by marriage

I grew up believing many women in the grave would have lived longer if they had stayed single and faced their careers

This didn’t make me hate men or marriage, I just felt it was not for me

When I was in school, I had friends with different worldviews

Those who got married early, who had loving husbands and beautiful homes

Those who fleeced off men just for the fun of it

Those who were in relationships that they shouldn’t be in and yet clung on to such relationships in desperation only to end up broken and battered

It was different, different dance steps to the same music called life in my opinion

I was determined to live at my pace, and become a master of my own destiny

It was a tough deal but I was determined to ride the bull like a seasoned rodeo, and I did

I started my career early and I blossomed

Men came calling

I liked some and dated them but whenever they began to get serious or whenever feelings began to get feverish I would talk myself out of commitment

I remember a guy had to go and meet my parents in a desperate attempt to marry me

He did love me but my understanding of what life becomes once you relinquish control of your own life to someone else in the name of love or marriage only encouraged me to run as far away as possible from that quagmire called marriage

I see women let go of beauty for fashion

I see women let go of careers to bear children

I see women let go of good relationships for commitment only to be disadvantaged at the end of it all

I am not a feminist, I am just one of those few ladies who would rather be alone and sit out the whole marriage and procreation aspect of life

I had relationships in my teens and twenties

A fling here and a tryst there but nothing worth losing my head over

I always thought love meant butterflies in the belly and an irresistible wave that carried you against your will until you drown in it by force

I never encountered that kind of love

My senses were always with me

I always chose the guy I wanted to be with and I always walked away when I felt I had had enough

I cannot say to you that my heart has ever been broken because I have never loved anyone that deeply neither have I been foolish enough to allow feelings get the better of my senses

Maybe it is a sad thing but it is what it is

I was out of the dating scene for about ten years

I got a job in a competitive Industry and I was determined to succeed

I also met the Lord Jesus during this period and started working on my relationship with the Holy Spirit

I didn’t have time for sinful pleasures or romantic engagements leading nowhere

I enjoyed my job and I thrived in it

Within three years I was made a manager

That was when I met him-Our regional manager

He was one of those Christians who things seemed to work out for effortlessly

You must have met that kind before…

The ones who knew the Lord and act like they are His favorites and they have results to show for it

Whenever we did a meeting on zoom, he wouldn’t do opening prayer like other religious folks but his admonitions and achievements were garnished with supernatural testimonies

He was the youngest regional manager in the company and he was in line to make Vice President In like a year

How he did it fascinated me

I watched him from afar, stalked him on social media and followed all those he followed on LinkedIn

I read the books he had read and really loved listening to him speak at our leadership meetings

I never saw him in the light of an amorous relationship

I felt he was way out of my league

I am an advocate of people getting involved with those in their own social circles and not overreaching

Overreaching leads to expectations and it is like setting yourself up to be disappointed

So I respected him but I had no designs on him in any way

Plus I know a guy like that would be surrounded by crocodiles

By that, I mean ladies who would want to marry him and would tear any perceived competitors to pieces without him lifting a finger

He was a No, No!

Then I came for a conference in Lagos and we were both assigned the same car

We got talking

I can’t really remember what we talked about but I mentioned to him that I would like us to see about my expansion plan for my branch

When he dropped me off that day at my friend’s house, I only wanted to remind him to make room for me the next day so we could talk about my expansion plan

I sent him a message to that effect

He replied with, “I am at So and so hotel, can we do the meeting today by 5pm?”

I dressed up and found my way to his location

He was waiting for me

We had barely decided where to go for the meeting when the fire alarm started blaring

We moved outside only to see that the room where the fire was raging was either his room or close to his room

He laughed like a drunk throughout the ordeal

I mean HIS room was on fire and he was laughing hysterically

Yes, he is that kind of guy- nothing perturbs or bothers him

He was living the kind of life that I would like to live

I am a Christian too but I still worry and fret over things

I can be quite sensitive too

I watched him laugh as if his wife just delivered a baby girl in the face of a disaster

I was impressed

Hours later, he got the things they were able to salvage from his room and he said, “I have to move to another hotel, I need your ATM card to pay”

What was I supposed to say?

I jumped into the cab and we drove off to another hotel

He picked the most expensive room and I paid

Then we went to the room to check it out

As soon as we got there, he said, “I am going for a walk to clear my head”

I hesitated because it was late and I had to leave (I didn’t know where to because my friend’s gate would have been locked at that time of the night)

He said, “Where are you going?”

I dropped my bag

While he was away I showered and wore the hotel robe

He came in and promptly slept off


Well, really????

When he woke up the next morning he said, “I am sorry I didn’t make any attempt to touch you yesterday, it had nothing to do with you as a woman or your appeal or attractiveness

Or something like that…

I was embarrassed he talked about it like that

I said, “Oh, it is nothing” or something like that

We went for lunch, I think

When we got back to the hotel, he talked about the fire, I felt I should hug him so I did (not on the bed)

Then he said, “I want a cuddle”

I smiled and went to the bathroom

I know what a cuddle in a room with a guy can lead to

I stood in the bathroom, looked at the mirror and said, “I will carry my bag and leave now before this cuddle thing turns to something else”

I got back to the room and he was asleep

I laid next to him and cuddled him

The cuddle led to an eclipse

My brain went hiding behind my emotions or hormones and all I saw was him and a desire I had not had in years

It happened in waves

Shamelessly and relentlessly

One year later, we were married!


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