Resetting The Ruach

April 29, 2021


He discovered as a teenager why the
wall of his uncle’s room was covered
by pictures of naked women
His uncle, his mother’s immediate
younger brother was an undergraduate
at the time
He was studying Electrical engineering
Their house had a boys quarters that
was detached from the main house
That was the room his parent’s gave
his uncle
They said he needed to have his
privacy whenever he was around
His uncle had a room on campus where
he stayed sometimes during the week
but most weekends he would come
home for supplies and sometimes he
would come to their house to rest
Once in a while, his uncle would sneak ‘
a lady into the compound
His parents would naturally frown at such
His uncle knew it, so he would wait until
he was sure his parent’s had left for
their offices before coming home with
his “friend” and he would also ensure
his”friend” was long gone before his
benefactors returned home from their
Once in a while his uncle did the sneaking
in thing on Friday nights and would keep
the lady friend in his room for the whole
One way or the other, he would discover
his uncle’s secret
His uncle was quite good at making him
keep his secret
The one thing he wanted the most was
to spend some time with his uncle in
his room
His uncle’s room was well furnished
It was the kind of room you’d be in and
time would fly away
His uncle had video games, DVD players
and a lot of good movies
The kind that his Christian parents
wouldn’t want him to see
He was thirteen when he watched the
movie “Boomerang” by Eddie Murphy
in his uncle’s room for the first time
For several days afterward he played
some scenes of the movie over and over
in his mind as his body responded to
the sight but he noticed that after a
few days the scene lost its power over
his body
The longer the time between what he
watched and his attempt to replay it in
his mind, the less the effect the image
had on his body
That was where the naked pictures came
into play
They helped to fuel his imagination as he
would close his eyes and imagine himself
doing the things he saw in the movie with
the ladies in the picture
His uncle also had magazines, the ones
he kept under his mattress
Some had conversations, like comic books
while others only had pictures of naked
ladies and sometimes that of people
actually having sex
He would do anything to stay in his uncle’s
room for at least an hour every day
His uncle knew this and they became a
He supported his uncle’s exploits with
ladies by playing the lookout whenever
his uncle was bringing one home
He would give his uncle real-time
information of his parent’s movements
and location within the house
Sometimes he would take cooked food
or cold drinks to his uncle’s room before
his uncle arrived for his uncle and his lady
He was being taught the ropes
At the age of twelve, he discovered
actual adult film videos in his uncle’s room
He watched the videos for hours
At a point, the excitement was too much
for him, he found himself touching himself
until he was relieved with his toes and
body tingling in delight
The pleasures he got from watching,
reading, and doing the forbidden opened
his eyes to other things
He began to crave the sexual experience
There were some guys in his estate who
had started having sex already, as
He was not allowed to make many friends
within the estate but the news of such
exploits spread like wildfire among his
He got close to the boys and he got to
watch some of their exploits through the
window and keyholes
The guys had girls who would sneak out of
school into the estate to have sex with
them and then sneak back to their schools
It was crazy
He never knew girls could willingly do that
with boys
It excited as well as scared him
He knew the sword of Damocles would fall
on his head if his parents found him in
such company but he couldn’t help himself
He was drawn to fulfilling that which he
had imagined
By the time he was fifteen, he also got a
girlfriend and he began to do the
He and his new friends rotated base
depending on the movement of their
His uncle’s room became the most popular
lair for their adventures
He got Gonorrhoea for the first time at the
age of sixteen
It was the kind of affliction that he lacked
the wisdom to handle himself
He couldn’t tell his friends because it would
make him a laughing stock
He suffered the burning pain and discomfort
for months until he eventually told his mother
That was when hell was unleashed
He had to tell his parents everything
His father blamed his mother
His mother blamed his father
His father shouted and raved
His mother cried and fussed
He was an only child and they paid
attention to him as they ought to
He was just too smart for them to
keep up with
He got the medical attention he
His parents ensured that he got into
counseling and paid closer attention
to him
His friends became outlawed
The fun was over
He was willing to change too
He had failed his WAEC examination
woefully because he took his eyes
off the ball
It was the first time he would ever
fail his examinations and he was
the only one that failed that badly
in his set
It was shameful
It was time for a reset
He studied hard and started going to
church again but the nights were
something elseHe found himself unable
to resist the lure of the seed of darkness
that had been deposited in his imagination
He found himself unable to sleep without
The way he viewed the female sex had
also entirely been compromised
All he saw when he met any lady were
the body parts
Images he stored away for use every night
It got so bad that even on the nights he
managed to sleep without touching himself,
he would have sex in his sleep
The course of his life had been altered in a
manner that he couldn’t explain or correct
He gained admission into the University
through a pre-degree programme
It was the best his parents could do so
that he wouldn’t sit at home for another
It seemed to him like he somehow ran
out of favour
The things he used to achieve so easily
became difficult, even his parent’s love
and trust which he took for granted
once seems to have turned to disdain
and disappointment
He was battling his demons, fighting
very hard but it was a battle he didn’t
know how to win
He joined a fellowship on campus and
gave his life to Christ
He was told that salvation is free and
he would get a fresh start
It didn’t happen as advertised he felt it
was because something was wrong
with him
Perhaps he was cursed
He had become a captive of his own
imagination, a victim of his past
He slept with all the sisters one by one
in his imagination, he couldn’t help it
It got so bad that he started stripping
ladies of their clothes while talking
with them or whenever he was in
close proximity to them
He prayed and fasted
He would sometimes keep away from
female company for many days
He had become a pervert of sorts, he
knew it and yet, he couldn’t help it
It was terrible
There was no help in sight
Then he met a lady, a lady that was
born blind
She was a member of the choir at the
state he was posted to for NYSC
He didn’t know why he was drawn to her
He had joined the choir too as soon
as he joined the church
They got talking and the lady told him
how she saw everything through her
They talked for hours
The lady was seeing life without physical
eyes and what she was seeing was
far more beautiful and productive
than what he sees with his physical eyes
His imagination couldn’t see anything
without his thought somehow straying
to sex
It had become his default
The blind lady had written six books
and many storybooks for children, using
her imagination
He desired to do more positive things
with his imagination but he didn’t know
The lady told him about the Brother in
Jeans and T-shirt
They had met at a meeting in Magodo
Lagos when her mother was suffering
from a terrible ailment
She gave him the phone number
He called’
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt listened
to him on the phone and said “The Holy
Spirit can heal your imagination, just
ask him to do so and then see the
Word as it is lived”
It was a simple process
Before he slept every night, he would
deliberately instruct his imagination
to be with the Holy Spirit and learn
from the Holy Spirit, then he would
read passages of the scripture out
loud and lie down to sleep
He started doing it daily
Within a month, he was free
He simply lost the ability to put
sexually stimulating images together
and masturbation without the mental
image was too much labour without
any reward
The Holy Spirit solved a battle of 14
years just like that
He finished his NYSC in 2016 and met
with the Brother in Jeans and t-shirt
to say thank you
He got married in January 2020

PS: We always become as we
consistently imagine we will be, your
dominant imagination directs the
course of your life, and all your choices
Once the imagination is hijacked, the soul
is in peril
First, we see and then we become
Abraham saw
Jesus saw
You must see
What you see informs what you say
What you say affirms what you see
Be intentional with what you see
Do away with mirages
Not all sights are meant for your eyes
Guard your imagination with all diligence!

Get our free , straight to your inbox.