Rachamim

THE PAST
This will be a long read, but it’s a story
that doubles as the testimony of the
fall and rising, I mean from Adam to
Christ.
I will also try to keep it short as I am
not a good writer like my teacher,
Bro Gbenga, I mean I covet that which
he has!
Starting from somewhere is hard,
because I don’t know where to, but
I trust the Holy Spirit to bring clarification
and understanding to this and make
this a testimony that brings Hope, Faith,
Joy as well as birthing other testimonies..
I used to be a brilliant and maybe an
intelligent girl while growing up, at least
till my JSS3, this made my parents
enrolled me in a Science College for
senior secondary school but I think
I would have done better in an
Art College where studying to
become a lawyer would have been
the goal.
Senior secondary was a boarding school,
though no bullying per say, but my small
stature dealt a great deal with my
self-esteem where those with similar
stature were labeled “Isin” (meaning small,
little or tiny).
Losing my academic position in senior
school to my mates from cities and
more renowned junior school was
also a big blow.
After secondary school, I decided
within me that university is not meant
for poor student like me, even when
others were saying I am brilliant,
I will smile and tell myself I am not.
I ought to go study Pharmacy in a
University but I just believed I will
fail even when I met the cut off
mark for the course and university
in JAMB, I went to a College
(not education).
In college I shone, I was smart,
intelligent, brilliant and friendly
though with a very low self-esteem,
I was able to cover up because I play
and sometimes “bold-faced”.
Finished my OND/HND with good
grades and eventually broke up with
a boyfriend who was in the University
and made me believe he was doing me
a favour, of course I thought so too
until I got wiser.
This was at age 21.
Early right? Yes, I was an early runner
with lack of focus especially after my
mentor died, the little focus I had
died with him, I lost it.
I got into another relationship a few
months after, got engaged and got
married 2 months to my 23rd birthday.
What was I thinking right?
I wasn’t thinking anything, I was
young and naïve and allowed some
fake prophet manipulate my family
and I.
(Did I just say “engaged”? No, there
was no proposal, just a relationship
that led to an unplanned marriage).
Got married with no self-discovery or
focus on what to do with my future,
just living on chances and co-incidence.
The only thing I started the journey
with was 2 months old pregnancy and
my low self-esteem.
No job, no business, no skills, no spiritual
understanding, no maturity, no exposure,
no experience, nothing special
I had nothing to offer than my gentle
and quiet nature.
He is very much older than I was so I
guess he saw me as a subject and
someone he is doing a favor by getting
married to me, because I wasn’t a virgin.
Not like I had committed abortion or
had a very deep knowledge about sex,
but I was a naïve non-virgin girl who is
at the mercy of a man that pitied me
by marrying me.
He only talked to me when I have done
something wrong, which is always
because I can’t do anything good
according to his standard.
Also, I was the wife with 2 left legs and
has added nothing to his life but
taken a lot from him including the cars
he was supposed to buy and the houses
he was supposed to build.
I believed him because I thought I was
no good, and the church we attend that
period was a church that believed in
ancestral things, curses, witches,
wizards, spiritual husbands, dream
and dream robbers etc.
I think the diagnosis given then was
the spiritual husband, dream and
dream robbers and witch craft
something as we were made to
believe my mother was a witch or
a possessed woman.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl,
her growth wasn’t that rosy, it was
from one sickness to another, cough,
cold, diarrhea, fever, etc. in all of these,
I was the blamed person as its either
the witches in my family or spiritual
husband at work, or because I didn’t
pray well earlier or because I was
supposed to take ginger or garlic,
in-short, its always my fault that
the child fell sick.
My mom was declared a total witch
when she made the mistake of trimming
off the hair of the child because it
wasn’t at the same length and I had
a dream the previous day where
I saw my mom carrying the child
from my side. So with that event of
the hair, she was declared a witch and
I must not visit her with the child lest
she kill her or make her sicker, a
verdict by my husband and pastor.
My mother hated me for accepting
she is a witch, though we stay in the
same local government I can’t visit her,
she was very bitter against me and
there was nothing a quiet person
can do, than just to suffer in silence.
The verdict didn’t change the health
condition of the child, she rather
became worse and wasn’t growing,
looking like a malnourished 3 months
old even at 18 months with a very
scary skin colour.
Antibiotics became a norm for her,
different hospital became my
second home.
Then my mom, the witch came to the
rescue, she took her from me and
started taking care of her with
herbs and she advised we change
hospital, we changed hospital and
for the first time in 21 months, a
doctor gave a different diagnosis
She was diagnosed of congenital
heart defect, the cardiologist that
ran the test wondered how she
was still alive till that time though
with stunted growth and delayed
developments.
The search for money started
My husband had abandoned the
child with me, I was the only one
running from pillar to post, thanks
to my parents, I made calls to old
friends in my desperation to save
my child , did I mentioned I was
made to abort the pregnancy I had
after the first child, the reason
given to me was that the one I
have is not fine, how will I combine
caring for a sick child and a new
one, my husband made me abort
the pregnancy.
The search for money made me beg
from church to church in my state,
radio and television stations, online
and old friends, one of my old friends,
my first boyfriend, became my friend
that period, and was there for me,
promised to give me money, though
he never did, but on one of my visits
to him, we had sex.
The money was raised from an online
platform, my parents gave me N1,000,000,
my husband also gave N500.000; the total
amount spent was about N5,000,000.
My church that said my mom was a
witch and that the person behind her
predicament will go lame the day
she stand to walk, abandoned us and
advised we seek help from media
houses as we can’t see the founder
of the church that period.
I went with my daughter to India for
the surgery and it was a successful one,
all the while all I got from my husband
were verbal abuse, because his
prophets told him I have used the child
for sacrifice in witchcraft coven.
I came back with a healthy child even
when our Nigeria Doctor wasn’t sure
she will survive the flight to India.
I decided to walk out of the marriage
and learn a skill, after my husband
made a public show of me and my
parents in from of his house when
I went to pack my things, he later
came behind their back to beg and
I accepted without my parents’
knowledge.
I started visiting him and on one of my
visits, his old self came back
He went through my phone and saw the
conversation between me and the guy
I had sex with, the statement he saw
was “in my desperate moment you took
advantage of me”.
Then he asked what happened I lied,
but when he asked me to swear
nakedly with the bible and curse myself
I told him the truth, he promised he had
forgiven me and that it will be our little
secret.
Some months later I moved back to his
house and my parents were only shocked
but said nothing contrary.
He was nice the first month, but after
then, he became mean and tortures me
at the slight provocations from outside,
not me provoking him, referring to the
cheating issue and threatening to tell
my parents about it.
I had to go tell my parents first and
although they were very upset, they
forgave me.
They advised that I go back to school to
ease the tension at home, he told me
he doesn’t have a dime to spend on me
I told him God will do it, which led to
me receiving the best beating of my life.
The second day after the beating
I fainted in a banking hall where I
went to make payment for some
school stuff, the fainting incidence made
me decide I will leave so I can stay alive.
I left for school with nothing in my
account and nothing in my purse,
my daughter joined me and was
with me throughout my university days,
and I made a First Class, despite fighting
depression throughout my years in the
university, and not really knowing God
as I ought to.
God came through for me,
He crowned my effort with great success,
you may wonder how I survived school
without a Job, and No, I wasn’t doing
the fashion stuff I learned
Depression made me lose interest and
I made a lot of mistakes with customer’s
clothes, which made me pack up all my
sewing equipment and knowledge.
I started writing, devoted my time to
reading and research
Idid assignments for people and groups,
I met a wonderful benefactor through
this, he was a wonderful supporter
throughout my days in the school
I also volunteered for institutions, and
in my final year, I learned a soft skill which
I made some money from to settle the
final year expenses
Ok, it wasn’t as easy as I just typed, but we
pulled through.
My daughter wasn’t growing as expected,
the doctors said it’s because of the late
diagnosis of the heart defect, no one
was able to give a specific name to what
she was going through, though she
walks and goes to school, she wasn’t
doing well in her academics and her
stature was very small, her reasoning
was also below her age, but she is the
most beautiful cheerful and friendly
being on earth.
They said she is a special child.
Her condition became my next major
prayer point.
I mean it was draining to combine a
child like that with academics all alone.
I don’t socialize majorly because of
her because I don’t like people raising
eyebrows on her or asking questions.

THE PRESENT
After my University, I met the Holy Spirit
through a darling Brother, it was a
beautiful experience, it was during
Covid-19 lockdown, I was tired and
wanted more, I asked questions, but no
one was able to fill the inner emptiness
I feel each time.
No explanation fits what I was passing
through, and nothing assured me of a s
olution.
Till a day I beat my daughter out of
frustration and I regretted beating her,
I cried so much that night and a friend
got a wind of what was going on and
introduced me to this brother, this
brother showed me love, my heart was
filled with joy and it throbs and swell
for joy, he introduced me to a new lover;
the Holy Spirit, who has been the best
friend ever since.
I met other members of the family,
Joined Citizen of Zion School and later
joined Pneuma School of Supernatural
Bible College, where all my fears were
erased and my life started having a
meaning
I got the assurance of what the future holds
for me, I need no prophet to tell me what
and what to do, I became my own prophet,
my circle of trusted friends became those
in Zion, I got encouraged each day.
Let me talk about provisions, this period
was during my NYSC, I was with my
daughter and I was only earning the
allowance, though we get some lesson
fee from her father monthly, but how we
were been cared for after paying rent at
the PPA and other bills which were not
so cheap, I had some money even after
the service that was more than what
I could have saved
Need I also say, since I got filled with
the Holy Spirit, I never had a reason to
use the simplest Paracetamol or treat
any sickness
I finished my NYSC and started working
at the same institution where I served,
My first pay was N23,000.
I cried the day I received this amount as
a salary, I knew I was worth more, I deserve
more and this amount cant sort any of
my pressing needs, this was a period
I needed to rent an apartment and also
care for my daughter who has resumed
school, then I transferred all the salary
into the ministry’s account using ‘everything’
as the narration.
I then told My Father, that ‘this money is
not enough, give me what is enough’.
Prior to this time, I was really worried
about the situation of having to stay back
at my PPA to work, I didn’t want to.
I had applied to different establishments,
the ones that gave the green light of
possible employment suddenly went AWOL
and it left me sad that period, I fast most
of the time because I am a called Intercessor,
during one of those days, the Holy Spirit
told me ‘JUNE’,
I wondered what He meant or what was
gonna happen in June
June also happened to be my birth month
and some of my student at my place of
work write their finals in June.
I never knew He was telling me to hold
on for Him as hewais cooking something
great.
While serving, I used to walk a lonely
path to my PPA, I pray in the Spirit
while walking this path, not out of fear,
but out of the fact the I love the
serenity of that path, I was warned
severally to stop passing that route,
but I told the concerned people no
one can kidnap me neither can any
sacrifice placed by the stream along
that path affect me in anyway.
As I was passing through one day,
the Holy Spirit ministered to me and
I got an idea, I told my professional
mentor about it and he used his outfit
and influence to bring that inspiration
to live, we held a webinar that brought
the big wigs of the profession together
to answer some questions, it was a
very big event.
I never knew God was using that event
to create the connection and opportunity
I needed for the fulfillment of his plan for
me
In June, my birthday came, my students
wrote their finals and nothing happened.
June 30 came, early in the morning
I was preparing food for my daughter
to take to school when I received a
call from one of the connections that was
created during the event
A professor who needed a research assistant
outside the country.
Meanwhile, my prayers had been to travel
abroad for my Masters but I didn’t want to
write GRE, TOFL, IELTS and other exams
like that, and I also want a scholarship,
because humanly speaking, even if I am
to get admitted for Masters in Nigeria,
I do not have the fund.
The professor was located in a country
where these exams were mostly required,
but, just as I declared, the department
waved the exams for Nigerians and as
a research assistant, I have tuition waived
and stipends will be paid.
The institution is a high-ranking institution
in research (R1).
I had applied for the renewal of our
passports prior to this time
On the same day, I was called to come
for our booklets, I sent my academic records
to the professor but I couldn’t send that
of my University because we didn’t have
our transcript yet, neither was it uploaded
on our student portal
I had to send the statement of result and
the record from my college to her
A few minutes after sending it, the record
was uploaded on our student portal
I downloaded and used that as my
student copy of the transcript and sent
to the professor.
The professor was impressed and gave
the green light
I must not forget to mention the official
transcript issue, prior to the admission,
I have applied for the student copy of
the transcript but it wasn’t sent or
prepared due to the fact that the record
has not been uploaded on our portal
I had made payments for the student
copy like 6 months prior this time
I went back to my University to apply
for the official copy, they requested
that I pay again, I told them I couldn’t
pay because I paid before and what
I paid for had not been given, the
head of the unit wanted to insist
I made a silent prayer and left the place
The woman sent for me a few days later
and I got my official transcript delivered
to my new school.
In 5 months all the documents I needed
was granted and even in the face of
denial for access into the country,
like nearly all 90% of applicants are
usually denied access to the country,
but something I am sure of and confident
about was that I realized I can’t be denied
entry into any Nation.
While preparing for the interview to gain
access into the country, Isaiah 60 came
to me.
One beautiful experience during the
preparation was that I was bitten by what
I later realized was a scorpion one night
while lying on the floor of my room, the
spread of the venom down my arm was
how I knew there was a problem and
understand it must be a venom, I spoke
a word to it, and it died
I was awaken by the call of a friend who
I sent the picture to, he asked which
hospital I am, I told him I am in my
house sleeping, he was shocked, he
said if I hadn’t send him the pictures,
he wouldn’t have believed I got stung.
I told him of a viper cannot hurt Paul,
A scorpion can’t hurt me.
After the interview, I got my visa
I went to see my parents
I can never forget the sigh of relief,
I can never forget how my dad cried
for joy.
The unlucky child, the one who no good
thing was expected from has brought
a good news home, the one who has
been forgotten and they were hoping
and praying that she should at least
get a job in a local government, is not
just going for her masters, but going to
the most powerful country in the world
and will also be paid stipends for schooling,
they were so happy.
I shared my testimony with them, I shared
the Gospel with them
They were in awe of the kind of God I serve,
because not wearing jewelry or trouser can’t
achieve what the Gospel I believe in can
achieve.
Did I forget to mention that I got invited for an
interview at the Nigeria Airforce the same
day my Visa came?
Yes, my God is a God of surplus
He made sure my cup overflowed and
I got to choose what was best for me
as led by the Holy Spirit