November 1, 2021


Suddenly everybody is in a panic mode, a pastor called and said he had been stooling and his BP has out run a chariot at top speed, the same pastor’s wife called saying her husband got a heart attack when he heard the news
His older sister called and said “Take her for deliverance
Let her come to her senses, His mother said “Consider how long you have been holding on, remember to be like Christ and to bear it to the end”
His wife became extremely repentant, crying like a jelly Fish, “Give me one more chance, pls, one more chance” was her song of redemption
All he did was file for divorce after years of abuse, torture and pain.
That was his crime, refusing to take the abuse and the pain unleashed on him unrepentantly by the same woman who suddenly saw a shift in the power climate and started kneeling down like a frog at every given
Where were these people when he was lamenting and crying that he was being abused by this woman over and over again
Some of the abuse he had suffered from this woman had spilled to the public space because she couldn’t help herself
She had dealt with him after a church service once that the pastor and his assistant came to their house and said to her face that “What you did is more than enough for your husband to call it quits on this marriage, thank God he is a Christian who is walking with the Holy Spirit”
She heard them but didn’t stop!
She did it until his younger brother and his family tacitly decided never to step their feet into his house again for fear of the poisonous barbs of his wife
He begged, appealed, cried, had several sleepless nights, fell into depression and came out of it all because he married a lady who was determined to rule over him at all cost
When they got married, he was not as rich as she was but he was hardworking and knew the only way for him in life is upward and forward
She was the highflier, the celebrity, the power in the term Power couple!
She ruled with Impunity
There was a day she travelled abroad for a conference without making any provision for food for him and their children
He got home from school runs and found her note on the table “I am off to Dubai”
She left him with a set of twins (7 yes old) and a 2 months old baby
It wasn’t her first time
All she did throughout the marriage was serve herself and her interest and damn him
He had no right to complain, that was her exclusive right
She would rant and rant and rant until she began to rant about imaginary crimes he committed.
She accused him of sleeping with their house girl.
She said she saw it and invited the pastor to their house
Pastor came and started speaking to him in parables, he had no idea what was going on
Then the pastor got to the point and called the house girl
The house girl fell on her knees and cried bitterly
The pastor got confused and invited his wife to back up her claim
His wife said it was a dream and even then nobody got a sorry!
His wife accused his mother of raising him to be driveless and classless but all he was doing at the time was raising their children because apart from giving birth, her career took precedence over everything
She didn’t have maternal instinct and so he sacrificed everything to ensure the children had parental care!
This was a woman who forgot her own children in school several times when she was supposed to pick them up
Every time he tried to succeed financially, she killed it. She told him to his face that when men have money they tend to cheat and she wouldn’t pray that he succeeds because she knew it was poverty that kept him faithful
When he met her they both had B.Sc Within ten years of marriage she had done her M.Sc, MBA, several other courses and won several awards while he cheered her on
When he told her he wanted to go for his masters, a family need suddenly sprouted and her financial support to their home was cut down He was very sure she never wanted him to prosper
He had a job but the pay was so low that she was the one bearing the cost of the rent, the children school fees and other capital expenses
This was her basic negotiation power and whip with which she kept him in line
Whenever she was unhappy, she would withdraw the funds and whatever support and make him and the children suffer
Sometimes the words she would say to him would make him go without food for days because she was the “bread winner”
Their challenge was not unknown to their friends and family
Especially his own
She kept the appearance of a prom and proper wife to her family members and he dare not report her to them
They knew she was the one bearing the financial weight of the family & this had basically made him the laughing stock at her end of the family
Her mother once met him at an event and she said “You, my daughter is feeding you and three children and you call yourself a man? Do you want to kill her?”
He just kept quiet and kept back the tears.
How was he supposed to respond to that?
His breakthrough came in their 8th year of marriage
An old friend came to see him at his office and the friend told him about an app he was building
The friend needed some money to publish this app on google play store and IPhone apps
He had just the right amount and loaned this to his friend
The apps were published that same day
When he told his wife about it, she almost killed him
“You will never amount to anything” she screamed! “Every time you had a dime, you waste it. Are you under a curse? Why did I marry a mistake like you?”
Her words as usual cut him to the quick but the apps became a success
and his friend made him a partner in their tech venture
He provided content and he was so good at it that in no time he was being invited to conferences and seminars to teach and speak for good money
That was how the table turned
He now had his own money and she had no other hold
on him
He bought a house at Ajah, moved his children to a better school and his wife’s salary of 600,000 naira a month became coins to him
He thought this would change her, it didn’t
She began to wage war against him about his job, determined that he must quit!
He said no!
She responded by throwing fits everyday
She would lock herself up in a room and cry for many days
She would lock his shirt, tear it sometimes and insist that the job was the enemy and he must let it go
She reported him to everybody, when he went to see them or they came to the house
they would all see how unreasonable her demand was and ask her to calm down
She kept talking to him like he was still a nobody, telling him his five minutes under the sun will soon be up but he only got richer and better
So she went to his office one day and caused a stink!
she was tired of waiting for him to fail so she decided to trigger his sack by doing drama at his office
That was when he got a lawyer and filed for divorce
At first his wife didn’t believe he meant it
She felt it was one of those knee jerk reactions and then she got the letter and she realised it was true
She took him seriously and began to cry
Suddenly she started praying, taking the children to school and picking them up from school
Suddenly she knew how to be a wife but it was too little too late
He was exhausted
He just couldn’t bear it anymore!

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