March 31, 2021


It was not easy being the son of a pastor
The standard was set to the high heavens
It was as if the purpose of his life was to
please his parents
It wasn’t as if his parents had the power
to force him to follow their will as such
He was just not a rebel by nature
He was a good boy
His older brother started misbehaving
from the age of ten
He would talk back to their mother
whenever he was asked to do anything
He would ask questions and if the
answers were not satisfactory, he
would storm off into his room and
slam the door
His parents couldn’t really do
anything to control his older brother
He practically rendered them powerless
by not caring about anything
If you don’t give him food, he will stay
hungry until everybody was asleep and
then he would sneak out of his room
and eat anything he could find in the
If the fridge was locked, he would
raid the store and find something to
cook, if the store was locked, he would
cut the hose of the gas cooker or
urinate all over the kitchen floor to
make his displeasure known
His parents got tired of flogging his
elder brother
When they flog him, he would steal
their money or destroy something in
the house as a form of vengeance
He was very wild
While all the attention was on the
oldest brother because he was a wild
fire that refused to be tamed
His immediate older sister, the quiet
and reserved one suddenly got pregnant
out of nowhere at the age of fifteen
She rarely leaves the house
Had no friend and basically just goes to
school, after school lessons, and church
How she knew what sex was not to
talk of getting pregnant was a miracle
to them all
She was one of those girls that you
could put some water
in her mouth, ask her not to swallow it
and when you return home in the
evening you will find the water intact
Some members of the church were
already calling her “Holy Mary”
She kept the pregnancy for nine weeks
without being suspected and would
have gotten away with it for the
complications that resulted from the
Their mother found her in a pool of
blood three days to Christmas and her
parents had to rush her to the hospital
That was how the abortion thing came
to light
It turned out she was wilder than their
older brother
She would leave the house with a
change of clothes and follow her
friends to a University campus close
to her secondary school where she
slept with so many guys
She didn’t even have a boyfriend
like that
She had a secret phone where
arrangements for the meet-up were
made and she had been at it since
she was fourteen
Because her school was a government
secondary school (Her parents decided
to keep her there & make up for the
possible lapses by enrolling her in a
very good extra mural lesson run by a
member of the church)
She was able to skip school at will but
she was always
turned up on time for the extra-mural
She was above average as a student
and never gave her parents a day’s
It was crazy
After her parents accepted the fact
that their daughter was not what
they assumed she was and cried
their eyes out for failing woefully as a
All eyes turned to her
Her older brother was placed in a
technical school in Osogbo as soon
as he finished secondary school and
took an interest in a vocation
Her sister became an outcast of sorts
His parents didn’t disown her but
they just gave her whatever she
wanted and
practically treated her like a ghost
She didn’t run wild as many of her
parent’s friends and relatives feared
she would when her parents logged
off her completely
She was full of pain, regret, and
remorse and tried very hard to earn
or rebuild the trust of her parents but
wouldn’t have any of it
They didnt embarrass her or even
talk down on her
They just treated her as if she died or
perhaps like she was dead to them
Her father never called her by name
He talked to her through their mother
And their mother never looked her in
the eye
She was practically frozen out.
Like banished while still living under
their roof
He was the third child
He was 12 when the issue with her
sister happened
When the dust settled down, their
father came to his room one night
and said
“Your mother’s bad genes are evident
in this home!
Thank God I got married early
This country had not gotten as bad
as it is now and I settled down on
time instead of sowing wild oaths
I am 42 and I am still capable of
starting my life all over with another
Your brother behaves like a mad dog
Your sister turned out to be a
demonic snake
I am not motivated to suffer for this
family anymore
There is nothing here for me in future
I can see the handwriting on the wall
So I will tell you this once and for all
The moment you show your cards as
your older ones did, I am off
I will pick my suitcase and
find my way to another city
Maybe even leave the country
I will marry another wife and start
all over
I would have done it already but your
mother used you to beg me
She swore that I have to be fair to you
and see how you will turn out
I was warned by my parents that your
relatives do not turn out well
Look at all her siblings, which of them
do you see doing well in life?
If I didn’t marry her, she would probably
be as unproductive as her folks
I will not spend the rest of my life
praying when I can start all over
I accept that I bought of a bad
stock, that does not mean i should not
be pragmatic and declare bankruptcy
As his father was speaking, his mother
stood by the door of his room listening
and crying her eyes out
He felt like Atlas
Like he was required to redeem his
mother and keep the family together
When his
father was done talking, both he and
his mother left
He laid awake all night, thinking of
many things
Everything changed after that night
It was as if he became an adult overnight
He was afraid of saying anything wrong
or doing anything wrong in the house
He didn’t bother keeping
He faced his studies and he did very
well academically
He was the ideal child both at home
and in the church
Time flew
His older brother found his way out
of the country somehow
One day his older brother called him
and said “I am in Belgium but I am
planning to move to
France for some work
His older sister also migrated to Egypt
as a nurse and later found her way to
the USA
He graduated as the best student in
his class
He studied medicine and he made
his parents proud
After his graduation, he got a job in
Ivory Coast with a humanitarian/charity
Three months after he left the country,
his mother called him to report that
his father had made good his promise
to leave her for another woman
It was not so unexpected
The marriage had become a charade
for several years
He knew his parents stayed together
just for appearances
He was twenty-eight when his father
left his mother
His father had secretly married another
wife and fathered three children with
her in secret (Just as he threatened
to do years before)
Once he graduated, his father moved
in with the woman and her children
without any apology
His father was convinced it was his
mother’s bad genes that affected his
older siblings
There was little he could do
By the time he returned from Ivory Coast
later that year, his mother had become
seriously ill
One year and eight months after he
graduated, his mother died
He knew she just gave up on life
His father didn’t even attend the funeral
He had totally moved on
It was a puzzle to him, the thing called
love and how it easily degenerates
into indifference
He was thirty by this time and he had
never had a relationship
Not even a tiny wee
bit of infatuation
He didnt want to end up picking from
a bad stock
He didn’t understand marriage
He didnt want another yoke of
responsibility after the one that got
off him at 28
He just wanted to be free
One month after returning to Nigeria,
he met this babe
at the hospital
was a staff nurse
They talked for a while and she
offered to help him do some shopping
the following Saturday
She came to his house and somehow
they had sex
It was his first time ever to do anything
that crazy
He didn’t love her and he didn’t plan to
have anything to do with her
after that day
One month later, she informed him she
was pregnant
She said she didn’t want it to seem like
she wanted to marry him or take
anything from him
It was just for his information
He couldn’t believe it
That was not what he wanted for his life
That was not his plan for
his future
He reached out to the brother in Jeans
and T-shirt on Twitter
What should I do?
They met and talked
They talked for a long time
He came to understand what it means
to live a deliberate life and what it
means to live a life where things just
happen anyhow
It was a life
defining meeting
He gave his life to Christ and began
to walk with the Holy Spirit
The Nurse came to him a week later
and revealed she was pregnant already
and was just looking for an easy target
One day, he walked into the bookshop
at his church and met a sister
She was the one
They got married during the lockdown
in 2020
She delivered a set of triplets on
Thursday, 25th March 2021 at about
4pm, during the 6 hours prayer of
the @GswmiFirebrand
There is one who has written our
stories even before we came to
know him
His name is Jesus
Come to him today

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