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Jigsaw Puzzle

January 21, 2024

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#1
Husband told his wife:
“Babe, I don’t like you wearing jeans to Church, please.”
Wife was indignant!
“Why? Can you give me ANY REASON why I shouldn’t?”

Husband: I don’t like it. That should be reason enough, no?

Wife: Abeg, Abeg, Abeg!! Don’t cage me with your insecurities!

3 Sundays later, Pastor asked all Church Workers to wait behind for a meeting.
Husband was a Counsellor, Wife was an Usher.
Both attended the meeting.

Pastor: I want you Church Workers to stop wearing jeans to Church, please.

Wife stopped wearing jeans to Church.

#2
Husband is uncomfortable with his wife’s friend.
“I don’t like your friend, Angela! I want you to tacitly withdraw from her.”
Wife was livid!

“I’ve known Angela since we were 8, much longer than I’ve known you! What’s your issue with her? You can’t choose friends for me!”

Husband: She’s come visiting you with 3 different men in the last 8 months, she introduces each one as her boyfriend. I just think a woman who changes men so quickly…

Wife: Let my friend be, please! She’s NOT under ANY obligation to live up to YOUR moral standards!

2 months later, husband & wife visited wife’s mum.
Wife’s mum: I saw Angela in a very revealing dress last week, her breasts were practically hanging out!
I’m no more comfortable with you being friends with that woman: stop hanging out with her!

Wife: Ok, mummy. I won’t again.

#3
Husband & wife had a discussion on their summer vacation.
Their 2 kids would be on holiday in a few weeks, so they agreed to go to London for a 2-week vacation.

Husband booked tickets & made accommodation arrangements.

4 days later, wife asked:
Have you bought the tickets?

Husband: I just booked; I’ll pay tomorrow.

Wife: Ah! Good. Don’t pay, please! I don’t want us to go to London again. Let’s go to Dubai!

Husband: why?

Wife: Vicki is going to Dubai with her family! Let’s go to Dubai too: I’ll want to hang out with my friend there…

#4
Husband & wife are home.
The kids have gone to bed.
They’re in their bedroom, alone.
It’s midnight.
Husband reached out to wife…

Foreplay began.
The clothes came off.
The Red Sea parted.
And as The Rod of Moses pointed towards the Red Sea, the wife’s phone rang…

Husband saw the caller’s name: one of wife’s friends.
Wife turned to see who was calling.

Husband: it’s your friend, Kim! Don’t pick, please…

Wife: No! I don’t know what she wants to say! Gimme a minute…

Husband: it can’t be important! Don’t spoil the mood, please…

Wife pushed him away & picked up the phone.
“Hey, babe! What’s up?” Kim spoke on the other end.
Wife laughed! “It’s a lie! Are you serious?” And she walked out of the room to go do aproko with her friend, leaving a husband with a hard-on.

She returned an hour later…

#5
Wife: Babe, my friend’s husband’s brother is getting married on Saturday.
They invited us to the wedding.

Husband: Do you KNOW the couple?

Wife: no, they’re based in the UK, they just came to Nigeria for their wedding, to return to the UK.

Husband: I’m sorry, I won’t go…

Wife: but I can’t go alone! Let’s go together, please!

Husband: you know I hate going to social events. I’d rather be home, watching Arsenal beat Chelsea…

Wife insisted.
Husband saw no sense in attending a wedding he & his wife knew neither the Bride nor Groom…

But he later conceded to his wife.
They got to the reception & sat down together.
A few minutes later, wife’s friend came over to her.
“Babe! What are you doing here? The Gang is sitting on the other side!”

Wife: Really! Let’s go!
She got up & followed friend to the “Coven”…

Husband also got up, entered his car & drove back home.

2 hours later, wife called husband: Babe, where are you? I can’t find you…”

Husband: I’m home.

Wife: What? You’re home? You left me here?

Husband: no, YOU left ME, Babe.

Wife: So, how do you expect me to get home?

Husband: that witch who took you away from your husband’s side has a broom: you can both fly on it back home, no?
If the broom can’t carry 2 witches, take Uber!
You shouldn’t have left your husband at a party he didn’t want to go to in the first place!

#6
Wife: Babe, I’ll be hanging out with my friends tonight!

Husband: Ok. But please come home by 10pm, tops.

Wife came home midnight.
I’m sorry, Babe! I wanted to come by 10 pm, but my friends insisted I stay longer! “You’re not the only married one here, abeg”, they said…

These are experiences some men I know personally have with their spouses.

And I have come to realize that while wives probably say “the most important human being in my life is my husband!”, their actions suggest otherwise.

The irony here is they’re very unaware of this.

These seemingly “little things” mean a whole lot to men.
But because men want PEACE, they’ll probably let these issues slide most times.

In Example #5, the man had reached his breaking point, hence that reaction.
When the others reach theirs, they WILL react too, trust me!

And a lot of times, they would have gotten a side chick who shows them more RESPECT.

A friend had a Side Chick.
She told him, “I’m going to see a movie with my friends on Saturday!”
He replied, “Don’t go!”
Her response? “Ok!”

He told me, “Harry, I was shocked! She just agreed!”

“She didn’t put up a fight & ask, “why shouldn’t I go?”
I had no reason for asking her not to go, but I was shocked she just agreed not to!”

Mike Murdock says, “There’s a KING & a FOOL in every man: it’s the one you talk to that responds to you!”

WOMEN NEED TO KNOW THIS.

That friend got divorced 2 years later & is married to that Side Chick today.

I think as men grow older, we’re less into LOVE, but more into RESPECT.
We’ll rather be with women who RESPECT us but don’t LOVE us than be with women who LOVE us but don’t RESPECT us…

I honestly think women need to be LESS into their friends, siblings, parents & even their children & be MORE into their husbands.

After all, you’re ONE with him, not with anyone else: his opinion should take preeminence over anyone else’s in your life.

 

My opinion, anyway..

 

HARUNA DANIYAN

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