February 8, 2021


She had always known her husband
was susceptible to the negative influence
She was 18 when she met him
He was 24
She was an undergraduate at the
University of Lagos
He was a post-graduate student
They met at a friend’s birthday party
He came after her with everything
he had
She liked him and was convinced his
attention was for real
He wanted to marry her immediately
She would have married him gladly
but for a conversation, she had with
her parents on a Saturday morning in
which she stylishly asked them what
they think of her getting married and
her mother
said she must not talk about marriage
until she was at least 21
So she told him what her parents said
He was disappointed
She assured him that courting for two
or three years was not out of place
He agreed reluctantly that day but it
was the beginning of six months of hell
first thing she noticed after the day
she told him they had to wait was an
emotional detachment
When he was asking her out, he
asked if she jogged every morning
He wanted to know her route so that
he could join her
She told him she wanted to but found
it difficult to wake up
early in the morning
He told her he would be her alarm and
he promptly began to call her every
morning by 5am like clockwork
Because she didn’t want her parent to
suspect she was already dating she
had to keep the analog phone from
waking up the whole house, so she
woke up early
She would dress up and join him down
the street by 5:30 AM
They would jog for 45 minutes and
part ways until they met later on campus
But the day after she told him they
had to wait, he stopped calling
Emotionally, his action tore her to pieces
She was sure he had broken up with
She dressed up and jogged down the
He wasn’t waiting for her
She went to check him at his hostel
later that day
He was around but he said he was busy
The standoff lasted a week
She had cried her eyes out
Eventually, she went to his hostel early
one morning determined
not to leave until she saw him
She hung around the main entrance
from about 7AM
He emerged at about 9am looking so
unruffled, so calm
She couldn’t even tear his eyes out as
she had imagined
She just fell on her knees weeping like
a baby
He rushed towards her and held her
He said
he was sorry
He said he loved and missed her too
He said his friends told him he should
stop running after her like a chick to
a hen
Since she wasn’t mature enough to
stand up to her parents, he should
teach her the consequence of saying
No to him
He said he really wanted to be
with her but he had to steel himself
against it so that his friends won’t
see him as a wimp
She couldn’t make sense of it
Why would anyone deliberately choose
to be sad when he or she had the
option of being happy
Why would the opinion of his friends
matter so much that she had
pay for it with tears and sorrow
He was the love of her life
She couldn’t even walk away if she
wanted to
But she had learned a vital truth
about him
He would inconvenience himself to
earn the respect of his friends even
if it hurt her in the process
From that day, she began to
tacitly discourage him from having
domineering friends who could
influence him negatively
As soon as she clocked 21, they
got married
She also graduated that same year
He had gotten a job with an engineering
firm while she worked with an oil company
They were both from comfortable
backgrounds and had many things in
They wanted children but somehow
they couldn’t have any
It was emotionally draining for her
The medical reports say they were both
fine, they did everything instructed by
the specialists
They changed their diets, altered the
time they
made love and did a lot of praying
He stood with and by her
He was unwavering
Eventually, God answered their prayers
and she took in
Two months after she took in, one of
his old friends who had traveled to
the UK for about 10 years returned to
the country to start his own firm
The friend had a bright idea but he
couldn’t pull it off by himself
He needed a partner and convinced
her husband to resign his job and
join him
Her husband did and the business
venture was an instant success but
her husband’s partner was a skirt
chaser who used women for fun
Whenever her husband discussed
stuff from the office with her and
mentioned how ladies of all body
types and looks flocked to the office
to service his partner, she would cringe
Her husband never spoke of it in a
dmiration or approval
He condemned it but she knew her
husband very well
She knew he could be persuaded
off his faithful ways
He had more money than he can spend
and since she had her baby, he had
dedicated more time to work than God
(He used to be the one driving her to
monthly camp meetings and prayer
meetings when they were parents in
waiting) but Jeshurun had gotten fat
and forgotten God
The challenge was the business
It was so successful that she couldn’t
convince her husband to walk away
from it but at the same time she
knew his proximity to Mr. Randy will
make him randy too in the long run
She tried talking to him
She beefed up her wardrobe and
tried her best to look her best always
so that his eyes would be on her only
She knew it was a battle and she
was determined to win
Many ladies know the truth, that deep
down if they turn their screw on a man
he would cave regardless of his marital
But they will turn the screw anyway
and dare him to say NO.
If he falls for their antics, he was the
one that fell and it was no fault of
theirs (despite the fact that they
opened their legs willingly and in
some cases even seduced him)
She did everything within her power
to keep him from straying
She was successful for only two years
Suddenly he began to travel frequently
to London for business meetings
The journeys were too frequent for
She cloned his phone and found out
he was already cheating on her
It was inevitable but it was hurtful
She didn’t know what to do
She confronted him
He denied it
She presented her evidence
He walked out of the house and
moved in with his mistress
He said she went too far by cloning
his phone
His engineering firm was into some
highly classified deals with the
government and what
she could be classified as sabotage
especially if the tech people who
cloned his phone for her kept some
of the files or knew the value of some
of the documents
She tried to explain that she did what
she did out of love but it seemed like
he had been looking for an excuse to
away from the marriage and she had
handed him one
She waited a month for him to come
to his senses
When he didn’t she reached out to
members of his family and explained
what has happened
A meeting was called and he categorically
said to everybody that he was no longer
in the marriage because he had fallen
out of love with her and feels she lacked
a life purpose other than obsessing
about him
He talked about the cloned phone and
how it pointed to mental derangement
He said she didn’t have a life and he
was tired of her
He tore her to pieces
His family members took his side
her family members took hers
Everybody agreed they should part
ways for a while and reconsider because
there was so much animosity in the two
of them
She didn’t play her cards well too
She went all emotional and started
cursing him
It didn’t help
She was 40, saddled with two teenagers
when the marriage died
He agreed to spend some days at home
because of the children
He told her she was free to divorce him
He told her he didn’t want anything to do
with her other than the fact that she was
the mother of his children
she found herself calling his business
partner (The bad influence) to help her
talk to him
She was desperate
She was in tatters
She agreed to his terms
She was still very much in love with
him and couldn’t see herself as a single
parent or with another man
She resorted to prayers
the heart of a king is in God’s hand and
she resolved to persuade God to stir her
husband’s heart back to her
She became a wife in name only
A figure head
He was essentially separated from her
and enjoying his life with another woman
who was unperturbed about building a
nest of joy on another woman’s pain.
After a year of fasting and praying
without any result
She decided to commit suicide and
take her children with her
The idea one afternoon while she
was in the kitchen
She felt it was best to kill her two
children and then kill herself just to
make a statement
The next day she began to plan how
to execute it
She went to a friend’s church and met
the brother in Jeans and T-shirt
They talked and prayed together
When she got home, she realized the
urge to do it was gone
She waited for a week, the urge
came back
She bought everything she felt she
needed to execute her plan but by the
time she got home, the idea lost speed
This happened three times before the
urge was replaced by supernatural peace.
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt told
her the Holy Spirit silenced the darkness
in order to preserve her and her children
He said “The day we spoke, when i got
home and was discussing with my
brother, the Holy Spirit said to us that
the devil will try to take advantage of
your emotional vulnerability so I started
praying for you every day for that terrible
storm to blow over”
PS: When we are broken, everything
loses colour
Life’s fragrance is lost upon the dying
Everything goes dim and hope dies
Without the Holy Spirit, we find ourselves
plunging into the darkness
Perfect love must be sought through the
Holy Spirit and can only be kept by
being in HIM
As we celebrate Valentine day soon, let
us remember that love is a volatile emotion
outside of God.
The same overwhelming power it owns,
that drives it to make us bubble with life
can be the same overwhelming power
that will drive us into despair.
Love preserves and spurs us to life
Any feeling that drives us towards death
is not love and cannot be of God
Without God, love is empty

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