A case was brought to me.
A woman working with a multinational
whose husband’s business was not
The man returned from the UK with
money and bought four trucks to
start logistics business but within
two years a series of bad decisions
killed his business.
He refused to get a job.
He continued to do pursue contracts
while trying to figure things out
The wife was working with a bank and
later moved to a multinational.
She was paying the rent and
maintaining the cars.
She had money and thought as long
as she was footing the bills, they
should be fine.
The husband stopped sleeping with
She said she couldn’t say how that
He would consider the fact that she
had been working all day and shouldn’t
be warming his bed at night and
therefore restrain himself from making
She felt since she was putting all the
money on the table she shouldn’t be
begging for sex
(What else was he supposed to be doing
with his time) and she didn’t make the
After some time, he started to cheat on
She told her uncle what had been
going on and how much of an ingrate
her husband was.
Her uncle picked up the phone and
called her husband’s parents
His parents called a family meeting and
confronted him about his inability to
provide (They had no idea because
his wife rented a duplex and they
both drove good cars)
He admitted it and there was a lot
He felt his wife brought shame upon
him and decided to leave the
marriage but he didn’t leave immediately
because they have a daughter
He just switched off and started shopping
for her replacement.
With the little money he got from some
hustling, he would look for a lady that
would respect him and call him “Daddy”
(This emphasis is mine pls)
and he started sleeping with such ladies.
The wife came to me saying she was
done with the marriage.
The husband came to me saying he was
done with the marriage.
I listened to the two of them and tried
to explain to the lady that a man does
not instinctively think he deserves his
wife’s body if he was not providing for
her (Some poor mentality guys running
on basic instinct does this but a higher
thinker wouldn’t), he wants to claim
his wife and impress her!
He wants her to jump on him and come
preparing to do wonders to his body in
the name of saying “Thank you”.
He doesn’t want to be with her while
she is thinking “Just do whatever and
get off me”.
Being broke is psychologically draining!
Men programmed to get off on respect
and gratitude will express their need
to others who will complement their
The wife cried bitterly!
She said she didn’t know providing
everything and “Lording it over him
could make make him resent her”.
When I spoke to him, he said
“He was done!
He just wanted to be free of her money
and her life and start afresh with
someone who wouldn’t mind that he was
making so little.
I told the two of them to give it a year!
This is the 19th month
They are still together.
She is still with the multinational and
makes majority of the money!
But she had stopped Lording it over him
and listens to him too.
She also appreciates his contributions
(no matter how small or insignificant
compared to what her money can do)
She came to see that when he buys
stuff and feels happy with himself,
he would hit the hammer very well for
three or four days but when the
euphoria of his good deed begins to
fade off, he would be unable to knock the
She got it.
He was wired to perform as a right not
as a duty!
She began to look for small contracts
for him to do so that he will have more
money and do more stuff so that the
hammer can keep knocking.
She said she got it somehow and he
got it too.
When couples grow to resent each other
The first instinct would be to part ways
but a dear friend once told me
“Your partner, the one you got married
to and having some challenges with
is actually the one you can make things
work with the best)
I took that counsel to heart.
Ps: Some men will sit down and be
milking the wife but some men just
can’t do that.
It belittles them and affects their
Regardless of if the woman is the type
to talk about it and prove a point with
it or the one who provides and still
We are all wired differently!
Know your partner and work with each