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Cat Trouble

February 11, 2022

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My grandmother is a trader, a very popular, rich
and well-known one
in our home town. She sells
a lot of things (foodstuffs, charcoal, sponge,
pepper, etc). Naturally, rats hover around her
stores to feed and
as a result, she got some cats.
These cats are very useful and friendly,
I got to love cats as
a result of my relationship with my grandmother.
Cats like people are of different sorts, some
are homely and nice and some others
are criminals.

One of the cats happened to
be a criminal, it is black
and very notorious. If my grandmother wanted to
cook fish, This cat would
wait until she finished cutting the
fish and cleaning it, and then
it would jump down like a
whirlwind and carry the entire fish
and the polythene bag holding it.
By the time my grandmother starts shouting
“Ole, Ole” meaning thief, thief.
The cat would have scaled
the wall and made away with
everybody’s pieces of fish meant for lunch.

The cat doesn’t strike every day.
Once it had done its evil deed
it would keep away from the
house for a week or two until
nerves have calmed and then it
would strike again. I promise you
that cat was so evil.

We nicknamed it “Anini”
If I kick that cat (I never
did because it was so fast
that nobody caught it anytime it stole),
I think I will be justified.
It denied me my balanced diet
on more than five occasions and sometimes
its appearance would scare
all of us out of our wits!

What can Adidas do to me
now that I said I would
have kicked the cat?
Maybe they will make some crocodile
skin shoes, alligator skin purses,
nakeskin belts
Just to get to me…
It is however better to kick
the cat than to kick the bucket.

Thank you.

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