Breaking Up?

April 26, 2021


If you are a Christian brother, courting
a Christian sister and the two of you
have agreed to get married but
somewhere along the line you changed
your mind for one reason or the other,
please do the honourable thing, sit with
her face to face and tell her the truth
Just as you sat with her and told her
you wanted to marry her, do the same
as you call it off
Dont hide behind a dream, a prophecy,
a vision, or a word of knowledge even
if that was truly the reason you were
calling it off
Don’t lay the blame at the feet of the
Holy Spirit or other ministers of God
‘Don’t act as if you wanted to go along
with the plans but “God” is the one
breaking her heart on your behalf.
Be honourable, be sorry, explain your
reasons in the natural (However
unreasonable they might be) and be
very kind.
Assure her that you know God has
better plansfor the two of you but
somehow you are not convinced you
are the right guy for her.
Don’t cop out or ghost her
Don’t block her phone number and/or
all social media platforms where
you can communicate
Don’t start acting like a snake
because you do not want to bear
the responsibilityfor her pain at that
Ladies must please learn how to do
this too
I have seen cases where the lady will
start praying that the guy should
break up with her because she does
not want to be responsible for
breaking up a relationship
That is sheer stupidity
It’s like realizing you are driving in
the wrong direction and praying that
God should turn the car around for
you because you don’t want to
admit that you have been driving in
the wrong direction all along
That’s just lame!
The moment you realize you have
boarded a vehicle going towards the
wrongdestination, you should do
everything to disembark or if you’re
driving, you must turn the car around
Treat that fellow with dignity
Treat that sister with dignity
Remember that you owe each other
a duty to respect and be forthright
with each other
Yes, he or she might cry
It is a natural reaction
Don’t be impatient or dismissive
Don’t resort to emotional blackmail
Don’t embarrass each other in
any way
Don’t send messages full of bile
and venom
Either as the one breaking off the
relationship or the one being told
things wont work out as planned
You are royalty and as such your
blood is Christ
You can take a dead seed and produce
a living tree from it
The news that you have given or
received is good in so many ways
You may not see that immediately
but it is better to be told it is over
than to assume there is still a
relationship when there is none
A one-sided relationship robs its
participant of self-esteem
It is best that all cards are on the
table and yes if you have met
somebody else (This is not usually
the way Christian courtship works,
but I am addressing a generation
that has decided on many things
and concluded on many things
before learning how that thing
really works)
Please be forthright!
Tell her or him you met somebody else
Dont say you saw a vision or got a
prophecy or had a dream or were
given this person by an angel etc
Say “I have been unfaithful to our
agreement to be together
I met somebody and I want to do
the right thing by calling our
relationship off”
If you’re dating a persuasive guy
and he turned on the charm to
convince you to stay in the
relationship with him after you
have broken it off, please say NO
Dont be spineless
And brother, it is okay for a lady to
break up with you sir.
Don’t be one of those guys who
would say “A lady cannot break up
with me, I must be the one to walk
Such an ego is a fruit of the flesh
I’d rather a lady walks than get
married to me and give me “hell”
Don’t let him or her discover you are
seeing someone else by chance or
Please grow up
If you claim you are full of the Holy
Spirit and you walk in the spirit as
you ought to, there are certain things
that you must watch out for
A vague message (Prophecy or word
of knowledge) that you have to be
guessing its meaning or assuming its
A lot of young believers find their lives
manipulated through such vague
God knows you by name and He
dwells in you
Why would he be speaking to you in
riddles? Are you not greater than
Moses whom he spoke with Mouth
to Mouth?
Have you not been filled with the
fullness of God in every way?
So this pastor was invited to your
church and he says “I see you
climbing an escalator going downwards.
The more you climb the more you
remain in one spot”
And you conclude that he is talking
about your relationship, so you break
it up!
Suddenly God is giving you fill in the
gap puzzles to fill in order to determine
the course of your life in Christ
Was that how Jesus was led?
Was that how Peter was led?
Was that how Paul was led?
Is that how you should be led?
If your Mummy or Daddy said NO
to the relationship because your
choice does not settle well with them,
please tell him or her the truth
Don’t hide behind any spiritual
Don’t be a coward and a cad
Don’t make the Holy Spirit the fall guy
He hasfeelings too!
Two believers can marry for love
I know many of us have been told
we must hear a voice and have a
dream and all
I have counseled many young couples
and I assure you 80% get married
for love
They might cook up one “dream or a
leading” to satisfy religion but in
truth they are doing it for love
It is okay for two mature, born again,
and “ready” believers to fall in love
and get marriedUnless we all insist
on pretending “We heard from God”
when the going is good and
“Unhearing from God” when things
go south
Many stayed in the wrong relationship
because they said they heard from
God when they didn’t and they don’t
want to have to admit they made a
There is a purpose to Christian marriage
that is beyond the man and the woman
A believer who is walking as led by the
spirit can never miss it
Finally, one of the reasons sex before
marriage is not a good idea is because
it complicates things
Sex blurs the lines of reason
It leads to a guilty conscience and
emotional issues
It is best to keep your relationship clean
so that you can maintain a clear head
while in it!

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