April 15, 2023



I have a teacher and a friend whom I respect so much

He lectured me and taught me in the University

He was married to a lawyer, he was a joyful lad

Then things went off course for him

I remember visiting him at his house in Surulere in the company of Jay Jay (A mutual friend and his student)

He was different: quiet, sad, morose

I am very much younger than him and my friend had told me of this lecturer’s travails

His fine “Yoruba” wife had left him

She was a lawyer and the mother of his two children

I can’t say what happened to their marriage because I didn’t know

Some speculated that he cheated

Others said she left him because she outgrew him in the marriage

She was a lawyer, he was a lecturer

She was based in Lagos, he was based in another state

Such distance does not help a marriage

He was from the south-east

I loved him

When I saw him that day, I almost burst into tears

Sorrow had done a number on him

He was a shadow of himself: quiet, reflective, sober, and as dark as a shadow

What was I supposed to say to him?

In what capacity does the young get into the affairs of the old?

We went to his church together- a new church

He used to be a member of the Baptist church but as a result of the divorce he changed churches

He started attending a Pentecostal church

I knew he was drowning: sorrow is like a puddle, once you get into it, you are dead!

When I got home that day, I did what I would never do again

I wrote a glowing tribute to him and tagged all the members of his family I knew on Facebook

I got a backlash, plenty of it, “Why are you tagging us with him?” they said

They didn’t see that I was calling their attention to the pain I saw in my brother

I didn’t care

He wrote to me and said, “What are you doing?”

I said, “I am trying to help sir, when I saw you, I knew you needed to see how the world like to see people become sad and remain sad. I want you to be happy. I want you to be joyful. Sir, I want you to be you!

He said, “Sowemimo, (This was the name I used to bear then) you have tried your best, please let me rest.

I refused to let my brother rest

He deserved to live, to enjoy and rejoice

“So, what if your wife left you? She wouldn’t be the first and she wouldn’t be the last

Even if you dropped the ball, even if you are in the wrong, it is life

We all play it and sometimes you sink doing so

It is my job to bring you to life, I shouldn’t be casting stones”

So, I came on Twitter and repeated my antics

I wrote a story about him and tagged all those I knew bearing his name

The backlash was vehement

Many who were supposed to be on his side by blood took exceptions to his “conduct”

They wanted him to suffer so that he will learn his lesson

But I just wanted him to live

I wrote another story about him, from my own eyes, not minding the things I had heard

I wanted him to see his worth to me

So, I posted it and itemized his qualities

He was the best teacher I ever had and Yes! he still is the best teacher I have ever had in the flesh

He read it and he cried

He is my brother, my teacher, and my friend

He found love again

He married a beautiful damsel from the south-east

He thrived! Oh, my world! My brother thrived

He began to pop up in cities of the world: New York, London, Poland, Amsterdam, France

I am the happiest of all

My brother found joy again

He found music in his heart again

He found love, not joust the love of another woman but the love that transforms

He found Christ!

Christ, the center of all joys!

What are you going through today? What is the pain you are holding on to? Drop it!

Jesus said we should exchange our burden for his own

His burden is light. He is full of joy and life. You should be full of him. Hallelujah!

There are many things that can break the human spirit; Eros (love) is one of them

You must learn to snap out of the cesspool a broken marriage or relationship drags you into

You must be above board, in charge!

It is your life and you are responsible for your present reality

Your past may be dreary and dry, your parents may be poor and you might have gone to the wrong schools. You might have grown up on the street and been exposed to many perversions; but that was your past

Today, you are in Christ. You are in charge now through the Holy Spirit.

You are in charge of your own life.

You are responsible for your today and tomorrow

Take a hold of this! You must live in order to live

There must be life within before you think of living

I urge you to live

Fight to live a full life of joy and glory

Fight depression! Fight suppression! Fight oppression!

Fight, Fight, Fight for joy

Weaponize joy

Make it your default



15th April, 2023.

Get our free , straight to your inbox.