January 27, 2021


What killed the idea of submission for
her was the way her father treated
her mother like a rag
Her mother was in her opinion, a docile fool
Nobody should have to live that in the
name of enduring a marriage that ought
to be enjoyed
Her father was a womanizer
He was a secondary teacher who slept
with many of his students, fellow staff
members, random women he picked with
his Peugeot 504 station wagon which
he painted in Taxi colours to make extra
cash after closing from work
They were poor by every standard and
yet the little extra cash her father made
was spent on his skirt-chasing addiction
Her mother was once a secretary with
the local government
When her father realized that the local
government chairman was taking an
interest in her mother by taking her on
work trips and campaign tours, her
father stopped her from working
And her mother stopped with immediate
She didn’t even put up a fight and as
a consequence she became dependent
on a man whose attention was everywhere
but on his family
She watched her mother fetch vegetable
by the roadside to ensure they had something
to eat
She watched her mother patching torn bras
and panties because they couldn’t afford
to buy new or even used ones
Her father would say “Before any child will
inherit me, i would have satisfied myself”
He would return home drunk at a time
when the cost of a bottle of beer
was more than sufficient to cook soup
that will last the family for days
He would buy new clothes for himself
while the children wore tattered sandals
to school
Her mother never complained
Not even a whisper
Everything was “Yes sir”
It was irritating and unnerving
She promised herself she wouldn’t be
a fool for any man
Her dignity is more important than
Her mother would often tell her that
a wise woman builds her own home
but if what she grew up in was the home
built by a wise woman, she wanted no
part of it
It was a life of suffering and endurance
A life in which her father was basically
caring for himself and tending to his
own needs without caring about his
wife and children’s welfare
Her mother kept quiet and allowed it
to happen unchallenged
In her opinion, her mother was a spineless
disgrace to womanhood
As she grew into adulthood and young
men began to flock around her, she
was deliberate about the type of person
she wanted to be with
Eventually, she got married in 2004
A week after the wedding she realized
she married a clone of her father
She didn’t know how it happened
In spite of her reservation and scrutiny
The man was an unrepentant skirt
chaser who cares primarily about his
reputation among his guys!
She couldn’t believe it
it was as if she unwittingly walked into
a relationship that would break her
She was determined not to be in a
failed marriage but at the same time
she would have to become like his
mother and swallow everything he
does hook, line, and sinker
She just couldn’t do that
The more he cheated, the more she
gave him grief
She would lock his shirt and try
to force some common sense into
his head but nothing she did worked
He only saw her as a troublesome
woman who didn’t know her place
When the pastor of their church came
to the house to intervene in one of
their marriage crisis and her husband
mentioned that she was not submissive
She almost vomitted
Why should she submit to a fool?
The marriage didn’t last
Claiming she drove him out of the
house, he abandoned her and their
two children and moved in with
another woman
It hurt her that he didn’t see reason
but life went on
She met another man two years
He was a widowed believer who
was the total opposite of her husband
He was caring, engaging, contented
with her and their four children (He
has two children with his late wife)
He was love personified
Within a year of the marriage, she
realized that all her guards were
He gave her no reason to raise her
voice in anger or cry in frustration
She adored him and did everything
in common with him
One day, while they were in church,
the pastor used her as an example
of a submissive wife during Sunday
She was surprised that the description
made her preen happily
She was submissive to a man who
was devoted to her
That made all the difference

PS: Submission is the response to love
and devotion
it is not automatic
Every living being reacts to stimuli
if the stimulus in the home is love, the                                                                                                          reactionwill be support and adoration or                                                                                            submission
If the stimulus is strife, the response would
most likely be anger, resentment, and grief
An irresponsible man has no right to                                                                                                               insist on submission
for she who submits to the decision of a
fool is by extension a fool
Had Abigail submitted to Nabal, calamity
would have befallen her and her household
When she heard what Nabal did to David’s
men, she quickly used her initiative to
avert disaster
When the husband fails in his role as the
head, the wife’s reaction is often to lead
A foolish man will resent her for it but a
wise man will appreciate her for it
When the husband is constant and
consistent in his devotion and love
The wise wife automatically submits to his
rulership knowing he would always take
the best decision in the interest of the

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